Help! Divorce problem because of mental disease

[hsn]

Hello everyone,

I am a non-EU resident (from middle-east) married to a Finnish man for six month now, I used to be a student in Finland for 3 years till I got married and stayed here for 6 months with my husband. Now i have this one year A residence permit. The problem is that very recently I have learned that my husband has some serious mental disease (he is diagnosed as psychotic and he is not taking his pills!!)and that is why the government is paying him more money than the other people. His parents knew this also, but they never told me! he didnt tell me either! This was very mean of them. So he acts very weird and to be honest he tortures me really mentally and by showing like he want to attack me but of course there hasnt been actual physical violence but mostly like threatening and acting like he is a monster or a non human being! I hadn't noticed this before maybe because he used to take his pills or we were not married to live together. I am scared of him to death and I cant sleep at all and he doesnt want to accept that we dont suit each other and we should separate!!

The question is here, I dont have any problems by going back to my own country ( to run away !). But I may be admitted to continue my education in Finland again, therefore I want to know if i go back to my country and request a divorce which i dont know how the procedure is, even if I lose my residence permit (which I dont care since i dont have anything to do here), would all of these be a bad report for my future? I mean is it going to affect my future student or A (doctorate) residence permit in Finland or in any other Schengen area? because i would for sure want to do my phd...

Please kindly, if anyone knows anything about this problem, help me out...

[Rip]

But I may be admitted to continue my education in Finland again, therefore I want to know if i go back to my country and request a divorce which i dont know how the procedure is, even if I lose my residence permit (which I dont care since i dont have anything to do here), would all of these be a bad report for my future? I mean is it going to affect my future student or A (doctorate) residence permit in Finland or in any other Schengen area? because i would for sure want to do my phd...

I seriously doubt anybody really KNOWS the answer, but I guess there is possibility it will look bad on the information a migri official would retrieve to decide on any future residence permit application: Applied for student RP, applied for marriage based RP. Divorced soon after, (never finished the studies(?)). Negative decisions can be appealed of course and I don't think there is information sharing of the kind that where it would have an effect on your chances to getting a residence permit elsewhere.

You apparently have still six months on your residence permit? If you can enroll yourself back to studies or find work, you could of course apply for a new permit on those grounds before your current one expires.

[007]

Hello everyone,

I am a non-EU resident (from middle-east) married to a Finnish man for six month now, I used to be a student in Finland for 3 years till I got married and stayed here for 6 months with my husband. Now i have this one year A residence permit. The problem is that very recently I have learned that my husband has some serious mental disease (he is diagnosed as psychotic and he is not taking his pills!!)and that is why the government is paying him more money than the other people. His parents knew this also, but they never told me! he didnt tell me either! This was very mean of them. So he acts very weird and to be honest he tortures me really mentally and by showing like he want to attack me but of course there hasnt been actual physical violence but mostly like threatening and acting like he is a monster or a non human being! I hadn't noticed this before maybe because he used to take his pills or we were not married to live together. I am scared of him to death and I cant sleep at all and he doesnt want to accept that we dont suit each other and we should separate!!

The question is here, I dont have any problems by going back to my own country ( to run away !). But I may be admitted to continue my education in Finland again, therefore I want to know if i go back to my country and request a divorce which i dont know how the procedure is, even if I lose my residence permit (which I dont care since i dont have anything to do here), would all of these be a bad report for my future? I mean is it going to affect my future student or A (doctorate) residence permit in Finland or in any other Schengen area? because i would for sure want to do my phd...

Please kindly, if anyone knows anything about this problem, help me out...

Since you are married for less than a year, divorce might have higher impact on your permit than otherwise would have. AFAIK, such divorce might put your marriage (and A permit) in question and might get your permit rescinded (though it's a rare case, it's in the law). If that happens, of course it will affect your subsequent permit application as a student or otherwise. However, mental instablity of your spouse makes your case stronger. So, most probably you won't lose your permit. On top of that, you are willing to leave Finland on your own, you will have clean sheet I believe. What I mean by that is that you won't have problem getting student permit in future.

You can seek social help if you feel threatened. If you think your marriage is almost over, in that case it's perhaps better for you to take divorce as you don't care about A permit as well. Bear in mind, however, that even if you retain A permit after divorce, it needs to be renewed. Without a reason, it won't get renewed. People who wanna stay in Finland will seek divorce once A permit is extended to 4 yours

[hsn]

Thanks for your reply RIP, I have been graduated from my master's degree on December 2013. so now I am unemployed and am applying for my PhD and my goal has always been to do my PhD i dont want to lose it. But I dont have anybody and anywhere to go in this coming six months, you know! my husband really tortures me, and I just dont think i can handle it anymore and we still havent applied for a divorce yet, because he wouldnt let me move to a super-market imagine leaving him.. Do you think i can talk to professionals about this matter? who could they be? where should i go?

[hsn]

And where can i get that social help? I really dont want to stay in Finland or any other country by force.. you know! My education is what matters to me..

[Rip]

You of course only need your passport and plane tickets to leave, if you think it is best.
I do not know if these are of much help (he has not been physically abusive), but you can find at least some phone numbers:
https://www.turvakoti.net/site/?lan=3

(edited typos)

[rinso]

I agree with Rip and 007 about the negative image a quick divorce can have.
Therefor it is good if you leave a paper trail of your problems. It will show your good intentions.
Contact social services or any other help group:
http://www.suomi.fi/suomifi/english/ser ... index.html

[hsn]

I really thank you all for your help, i will contact those help centers and i will be in touch here.

[CH]

This thread has also some contact information for help in crisis: https://www.finlandforum.org/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=24072

Stay safe! Your situation does sound really bad, so please, please do call a help center!

[hsn]

So once again thanks every one, I didnt have a chance to go to sosialli yet but i contacted the place where "CH" told me, They actually gave me some private information, But i was finally able to move out of that home.

However I am homeless at the moment and i am staying at some friend's places and it is also really difficult but I can not afford any rents at the moment. Do you think I can get help for something like 2 or 3 months from social organization or kela ? Because I first need to know what will happen to my education before leaving Finland.

[rinso]

Do you think I can get help for something like 2 or 3 months from social organization or kela ?

I cannot give you much hope. When you're married the combined income is used to determine if you can get help.
If you're divorced you're a student that should take care of your finances yourself.

I don't know if there are exceptions for this kind of situations.

[hsn]

Many thanks for your reply rinso.

[007]

Unemployment benefits no longer dependent upon spousal income. I don't know whether OP is getting Kela money but I don't see why she shouldn't as long as she retains 'A' permit and is registered as a job seeker at TE toimisto.