to last poster- maybe you got my post 's meaning wrong and you obviously meant to help and thank you for that. But if I had to live your life then I would not want to last 5 minutes. On handouts in a big home most likely stuffed with possessions and having to be 'mummy' so a younger guy (you mention you are too old to work but obviously not pension age in this country as you would then receive a retirement pension and not be having to look for work anymore although many people work past minimum retirement age). Looks like you got a ticket to ' lifelong residency in sod adult responsibility street'.
I want to move out of the place I live in and move into a shared place with others , preferably communal meals and lots of chats in the kitchen/common room. I cannot live alone and time to myself actually makes me physically sick! I don't like possessions much and don't need much space either. I only eat very simple food and never indulge in anything. I am happy without a relationship, at my age I don't have the need anymore anyway as long as I have other people to care for. I dislike my home so much that I have tried twice to flood it so I can be found somewhere else more suitable and also once told someone that I would hurt my partner as he is in his 20's and I don't want to be stuck with a younger man who just uses me , the person who heard that called the law and they came to my door and wanted to speak to me it was degradingly embarrassing. So many people say how lucky I am, I am a size 6/34 despite being tall and living on a diet of desserts and bakes and milky stuff (food aid not my choice) and having long hair and living with a boy less than half my age people think I am a fun loving, liberated, slightly selfish eccentric lady , other women who are heavier and have their hair short seem to be often jealous of me as I seem to have the ideal easy life in their eyes and they are actually the kind of friends I would like to have. I am a quiet caring person . I do not want a short time relationship with some tall brown guy with white teeth and muscles only to hurt me when he moves on. No human deserves that and I have some morals and values, also I do not find young and dark exotic men attractive in the slightest but older European guys are nto interested it seems.I feel like I have only 2 choices :
1. Foreign toyboy in my life who only uses me for money and clearing up after him until he finds better and dumps me.
2. Be completely alone and pay the whole rent for a huge home I cannot afford to finance, furnish or keep tidy.
so I have to put up with a toyboy, I haven't get the courage to get rid of him as it would mean days without talking to anyone.I have had a very difficult upbringing with a lot of physical and emotional pain and I have never really grown up. I don't think I am an 'Aspergirl' yes I am blunt but I have never been taught proper social skills. I live in this not so great place to get the diagnosis overturned and have a normal life the few years I have left. I would love to be part of a family and care for children or adult/s and actually give rather than receive. I want to live in a shared home with a possibility to build longterm friendships and having to consider other's needs rather than my own. But these people have to be normal not there because they are 'lonely' and its me or no one. I would then learn empathy and social skills and how to be less selfish. being given free money to sit home eating crap all day. sleep in until 12 and having to look after some young chancer is not the life I want.
I am loking for a responsible job with children/vulnerable adults where I have to be thinking all the time and put others first and a room in a flat with others , preferably women with small children where I have little space and to share most things.
last poster, you would feel happier to give you your rambling clutter filled home and maybe both travel to a country where life is less easy and help some others who have to struggle far more, then you will be happier and mybe your partner will wake up to reality and be more of use to society and able to give something back.
No one deserves this- can anyone suggest what to do?
Re: No one deserves this- can anyone suggest what to do?
I did not mean to be rude but I found that person's post quite upsetting as it looks to me (maybe I am wrong) that theyenjoy being a 'career victim'. it is true that research has found out that people who are lonely with little responsibility or purpose in life have shorter lives and earlier ageing and that giving back and being needed is often the best therapy. Like the lady who attacked me in the queue, she has lived alone for 25 years , no responsibility just buying things for herself, eating and going to free swimming, no wonder she was depressed,
I know someone in another country who was groomed at 12 by a person who also killed several people (her aunt's then fiance) she has had a chaotic life, does not care about health or appearance, often dangerously violent, family do nothing since she 'cannot help it' they pay for all damages eg, she regularly beats up her dad who is 82 and housebound, and the worst, the guy who did it is of course free, still on dating sites at nearly 90, she did not go to court or had him punished, she wants to be a victim so no need to be responsible.
I do not like larger homes as I was brought up in a very crowded one and I love sharing but anyone to their own, I want to share with a group of people and have lots of interaction myself,ok people are different but I would go crazy in a large house.
but what on earth has that got to do with a charity shop?
I know someone in another country who was groomed at 12 by a person who also killed several people (her aunt's then fiance) she has had a chaotic life, does not care about health or appearance, often dangerously violent, family do nothing since she 'cannot help it' they pay for all damages eg, she regularly beats up her dad who is 82 and housebound, and the worst, the guy who did it is of course free, still on dating sites at nearly 90, she did not go to court or had him punished, she wants to be a victim so no need to be responsible.
I do not like larger homes as I was brought up in a very crowded one and I love sharing but anyone to their own, I want to share with a group of people and have lots of interaction myself,ok people are different but I would go crazy in a large house.
but what on earth has that got to do with a charity shop?
Re: No one deserves this- can anyone suggest what to do?
I didn't look at any post and I 'm sorry if I have offended anyone. It actually scared me a lot, as having to live in that house is not what I want. I cannot pay for necessary repairs and for things to make the place nice. I am struggling to eat healthily on very little money and there is no spare cash for repairs and interiors and as I am feeling quite isolated and stuck in the house a lot, I would love to join groups/classes/clubs to have some type of social life. It would make me feel a lot better and more like everyone else. The large home is just a burden round the neck.
Right now the 'bidet' thing what is next to the sink is leaking and spouting every time the sink tap is turned on and the bathroom is a swamp, buying a new bidet attachement of about 30 or 40 euro plus fitting costs will mean no chance of a social life for another 2 months maybe, phone only for emergencies and so on. The place has not been painted inside since it was built in 1949. And keeping a large place tidy also takes time, energy and money which I would rather use to make friends and better myself than on a home which is not mine anyway. If I lived in a shared house I would have far more cash to myself as I would not have to be responsible for repairs and replacement bits and interior of a large home.
I am actually a very sociable person and being alone in a house is not my idea of a happy life, the apartment has 2 large rooms and to get to the kitchen one has to walk through one of the rooms. i have been thinking of putting up partitions so there will be 4 rooms and stay in one and rent the rest out to 3 female tenants but that means the 2 people have no window /natural light and the others have to put up with the other 2 walking through their rooms to go to kitchen and vice versa when going to the bathroom.
I am not a solitary person at all , if the poster is than fine but we are all different, please don't be offended.
Right now the 'bidet' thing what is next to the sink is leaking and spouting every time the sink tap is turned on and the bathroom is a swamp, buying a new bidet attachement of about 30 or 40 euro plus fitting costs will mean no chance of a social life for another 2 months maybe, phone only for emergencies and so on. The place has not been painted inside since it was built in 1949. And keeping a large place tidy also takes time, energy and money which I would rather use to make friends and better myself than on a home which is not mine anyway. If I lived in a shared house I would have far more cash to myself as I would not have to be responsible for repairs and replacement bits and interior of a large home.
I am actually a very sociable person and being alone in a house is not my idea of a happy life, the apartment has 2 large rooms and to get to the kitchen one has to walk through one of the rooms. i have been thinking of putting up partitions so there will be 4 rooms and stay in one and rent the rest out to 3 female tenants but that means the 2 people have no window /natural light and the others have to put up with the other 2 walking through their rooms to go to kitchen and vice versa when going to the bathroom.
I am not a solitary person at all , if the poster is than fine but we are all different, please don't be offended.