Help with an alcoholic spouse.

[rrothhav]

My aviomies and I have been living together for a year. We were happy for a long time, until he started binge drinking again over Christmas and New Years.
The past four months, his alcoholism has gotten to the point where he is drunk everyday, spends all his money on alcohol and cigarettes and rarely comes home.
He is abusive emotionally. If I try to coax him home, or be a partner he threatens me with moving out so that I will lose my residence permit.
He wants to live separately, and in his own words so "I can drink all the time and just be alone." He says he wants to marry someday, and loves me but that I just have to deal with this now.
I just don't know if I can anymore. :/ He goes back and forth all the time, one day he wants to live with me and stay as we are and promises to change, but then the next he is binge drinking again.
He is possessive and cruel. Expecting me to be the homemaker, and let him know where I am at all times; and if I don't do these things he accuses me of cheating on him and screams at me or disappears for days with no contact.
If I'm not quiet or saying what he wants to hear when he is around, he yells at me or threatens me, saying he could cheat on me just to hurt me if he wanted to.
Then he doesn't come home for days at a time again.
I can't take much more, and his temper is thinner and thinner.
I was working full time teaching, but I've decided to go back to school.
Now I've only a part time job and a study place but I should get my new permit in August, which would be the four year one, A on other grounds since we are cohabitating (as the last one was).
Next August 2015 I can apply for citizenship. Or then in June 2015 for permanent residency.
Will they kick me out if I leave him temporarily, just until he gets help for the drinking problem? My friends are here, friends like family, I have no family left in America other then my parents who are quite old.
I speak Finnish. I have built a life for myself here, and I can't bear to see it taken from me if I seek independence from him.
I love him, cherish the man he used to be, but I can't take any more and he refuses to seek help, and can't even recognize in himself the man he's become.
And all I can think about is how miserable my life has become, so that I can't see a way out.

[rinso]

Seriously consider a plan B.
It sounds like he is a lost cause. Heavy medication might be a temporal help, but he'll always go back to the booze.

You could try to keep the boat afloat till you have your citizenship or permanent residency. But a saver route is to find a job and get a work based residency.

[rrothhav]

Well I'm supposed to apply in August, then it would be the four year one. Would it be taken away, if at some point I decide I couldn't do it anymore?
I don't want to go back to the B visa though I could since I have a study place, but it ruins everything I've worked so hard for.
Now I have a kela card and soon permanent residency.
Is there possibly some sort of exception for people in abusive relationships?
If I stay, I know it will get worse and worse, and probably at some point it will become physical, but I don't want to risk losing my residency after being here for four years. And I love him too much to just walk away

[GermanInHelsinki]

You can of course not apply for a permanent Residence Permit before you will have been 4 years on A in summer 2017.

Since time on permit B only counts half for citizenship, you can of course not apply for citizenship before the beginning of 2017.

[rrothhav]

You can of course not apply for a permanent Residence Permit before you will have been 4 years on A in summer 2017.

Since time on permit B only counts half for citizenship, you can of course not apply for citizenship before the beginning of 2017.

I can count VERY well thank you. I moved here in November 2010 and held a B visa for just over 1.75 years (22 months 11 of which count)
Then I switched to an A based on a cohbaitating relationship which I've held for just over 2.5 years. (30 months)
That adds up to 41 months and as 48 months, or four years is whats required for a permanent permit, I only technically need 12 more months. Then one year after that, I can apply for citizenship.
And if you are curious, a police officer assisted with this calculation when I switched to the A permit.

[GermanInHelsinki]

That police officer also told you that time on B does not count at all for P?
Counting rules for P and citizenship are of course quite different.

You are of course also pretty long on a cohabiting relationship RP, considering that the two of you have only been living together for one year.

[rrothhav]

That police officer also told you that time on B does not count at all for P?
Counting rules for P and citizenship are of course quite different.

You are of course also pretty long on a cohabiting relationship RP, considering that the two of you have only been living together for one year.

I can't figure out why you are stuck on proving me wrong. I think its pretty revolting of you, that after a woman publicly announces she's in an abusive relationship with a man she still nonetheless loves, and is worried about further permit issues, if she moves out to save herself; you become focused on irrelevant semantics.
The relationship has lasted longer then that, I wouldn't have moved in with someone I didn't know, or hadn't had a relationship with. But as we were established, and later engaged before we moved in, it was allowed. We've been together three years. In addition, I've always been self supporting and working, so the Muu Syy permit is considering that as well, along with personal ties to Finland.
As for your a permit theory, it only applies for people who intended to be temporary. I made it very clear in my first au pair application that whatever my status was, I intended to stay in Finland forever. So they said that half the time on the B permit would apply, as I've never had a gap in residency and it has been considered continuous. Every situation is looked at on a case by case basis.
"The four-year time period is counted from the date on which the foreign national enters the country, if he or she had a permit entitling to continuous residence upon entry. If the residence permit was applied for in Finland, the four-year period will be calculated from the start date of the first fixed-term residence permit issued in view of a permanent stay in the country.
"
And here's this on citizenship. http://www.migri.fi/finnish_citizenship ... nce_period I know the laws well.

Now if you have any information on groups that offer counseling for women in abusive situations, I'd be happy to hear it. Or if you know how to make an alcoholic realize how many lives he's ruining let me know. If you have any way to recover after the public humiliation of the alcoholic screaming at you in a crowded party because you texted his brother begging for help and advice on how to save him, please tell me that. But if you don't have anything helpful to say, f*** off .

[betelgeuse]

That police officer also told you that time on B does not count at all for P?
Counting rules for P and citizenship are of course quite different.

As for your a permit theory, it only applies for people who intended to be temporary. I made it very clear in my first au pair application that whatever my status was, I intended to stay in Finland forever. So they said that half the time on the B permit would apply, as I've never had a gap in residency and it has been considered continuous. Every situation is looked at on a case by case basis.
"The four-year time period is counted from the date on which the foreign national enters the country, if he or she had a permit entitling to continuous residence upon entry. If the residence permit was applied for in Finland, the four-year period will be calculated from the start date of the first fixed-term residence permit issued in view of a permanent stay in the country.
"

For permanent residence the law does not call for case by case evaluation or account for intentions. For the quote you posted, you had a B permit upon entry. B permits do not entitle to continuous residence (that's A permit). See section 56 of the Aliens Act:

http://www.finlex.fi/fi/laki/kaannokset ... 040301.pdf
http://www.migri.fi/residence_permits/permit_types

As GermanInHelsinki implied half the time on the B permit applies only to citizenship. This means you will be eligible for citizenship before permanent residence.

http://www.migri.fi/finnish_citizenship ... nce_period

Do note that you need to be with your spouse for the four years to apply. If you separate, the required residency period is five years.

[betelgeuse]

I can count VERY well thank you. I moved here in November 2010 and held a B visa for just over 1.75 years (22 months 11 of which count)
Then I switched to an A based on a cohbaitating relationship which I've held for just over 2.5 years. (30 months)
That adds up to 41 months and as 48 months, or four years is whats required for a permanent permit, I only technically need 12 more months. Then one year after that, I can apply for citizenship.
And if you are curious, a police officer assisted with this calculation when I switched to the A permit.

To me it seems you are eligible for citizenship seven months from now. With a Finnish spouse you need to accumulate 48 months and you already have 41. By the time of the application you have also been with your spouse for six months. For your situation these people could be helpful: http://www.al-anon.fi/00010593-english- ... nformation

[rrothhav]

Thank you so much Betelguese for the Al-Anon links. I will definitely go there. I didn't realize there were groups like that here.
So it seems I was mixed up then, and I'm eligible for citizenship before permanent residency?
If he doesn't stop drinking, or being abusive and I leave, will it be that five years then, that I must live here?
It's so frustrating, because I hold the YKI level 3 certificate.
But I won't marry or stay with an abusive man. :/

[GermanInHelsinki]

The 48 months exception does of course not apply here since they haven't lived together for 3 years.

[betelgeuse]

Thank you so much Betelguese for the Al-Anon links. I will definitely go there. I didn't realize there were groups like that here.
So it seems I was mixed up then, and I'm eligible for citizenship before permanent residency?

Yes because the time with B permit only counts towards citizenship.

If he doesn't stop drinking, or being abusive and I leave, will it be that five years then, that I must live here?

Yes, your calculated residential time must be five years. Because of the B permit you must have lived here longer.

It's so frustrating, because I hold the YKI level 3 certificate.
But I won't marry or stay with an abusive man. :/

At least you have lived long enough together that marrying is not needed. You could also investigate whether your part time job is enough for a residence permit.

[betelgeuse]

The 48 months exception does of course not apply here since they haven't lived together for 3 years.

The OP has been on the A permit for 2.5 years. To get that permit one must have lived together for two years:

http://www.migri.fi/moving_to_finland_t ... habitation

The three years are evaluated at the time of application processing so there will even be three years of cohabitation under the A permit at the time of the application.

[GermanInHelsinki]

You should of course read her first post and then you will of course understand why you are wrong - "A on other grounds" is of course not the same as "A to be with a family member".

[betelgeuse]

You should of course read her first post and then you will of course understand why you are wrong - "A on other grounds" is of course not the same as "A to be with a family member".

I am operating based on this information in a later post:

Then I switched to an A based on a cohbaitating relationship which I've held for just over 2.5 years. (30 months)