A guy who i met at work (he was doing practical work as part of his doctorate) from India got back in touch last night and asked me for help with this situation . maybe one of you knows:
He has to go back to India for several months due to bad luck with work visa and a sick parent. He has a local girlfriend who is expecting their much wanted baby next month. now he is worried he cannot be at the birth if he's away and his girlfriend is being classed as a single mother (they are not legally married).
His gf is a super fit healthy former endurance athlete and survival expert even though she's not young her oldest child is 32. They got the go ahead from the drs for a water birth and they were looking forward to it. She's also a wage earning educated well travelled professional and very stable. Now somehow he said someone in the system has been forwarding her details to the charity' ensikoti and she had a call from a 'support worker' that she is now on the case load and has a place offered in a supported single mums hostel and a female volunteer to be her birth partner.
The house they live in at the moment used to have a lot of short term tenants sharing it is very large and the decor is quite old and its slightly bohemian and chaotic. *The tenants have now left and that income is gone she is paying the rent from her salary which is not longer possible as its high and as one tenant was a gambler and left her out of pocket she doesn't want to take on any more risks especially with a new baby in the house. They want to move and money is no problem just need to find a clean small apartment. She is terrified of them being split forever and losing her freedom and having to learn to prepare simple meals with a bunch of young people its really not an environment for her he says. They have a future planned in another country where one of her family is buying properties and at end of year they have the offer of a home.
Sorry if this is confusing this is the story according to him. My question is is there anything she can do to prove she is not a single mother and to refuse the female birth partner (he even suggested one of his friends being there at the birth which she would prefer to a female stranger and she would love that) she does not want any support and wants ensikoti to leave her alone. As a capable adult she should be listened to.send a reply if you have any suggestions i can forward to them both and feel free to ask questions.
rights of new parents as to maternity services
Re: rights of new parents as to maternity services
The maternity hospital does not really care. There will be a little bit of more paperwork at some later time to recognize the fatherhood if it is not automatically assumed based on marriage.Haatchi wrote:My question is is there anything she can do to prove she is not a single mother
There will be no non-medical persons in the delivery room against her wishes.and to refuse the female birth partner
At least the Helsinki area hospitals (probably elsewhere as well) have a policy of support person of your choice. In most cases, it is the father of the baby, but it does not need to be:(he even suggested one of his friends being there at the birth which she would prefer to a female stranger and she would love that)
http://www.hus.fi/en/medical-care/medic ... fault.aspx
How about just telling them just that? I'm sure they are quite happy to cross her over as "problem solved", and anyway they have no authority to help if she does not want that. It must be just some automatic or semiautomatic process where a mother without a partner (that is what it looks like to the computer systems) is offered help. She can say "no".she does not want any support and wants ensikoti to leave her alone. As a capable adult she should be listened to.
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Re: rights of new parents as to maternity services
thank you for your replies I have forwarded them on to both of them including the links. The guy is Indian citizen as far as I know the woman is local although from a mixed background and speaks Finnish. the guy told me she has a fear of institutions and I haven't asked why. She has been found to be in poor health with a persistent cough (most likely caused by the tenants in the home bringing in lots of junk , storing muddy bikes under their beds and washing drying everywhere in the house as dr found no medical reason but sensitivity to dust and damp) and low hemoglobin (she took on an extra employment to pay for the house that involved travelling all over the area and grabbing quick snacks instead of proper meals the guy said). The guy lived part time on campus due to his long lab hours and also travelled a lot so he was not in the house much.
It sounds like a computer based thing that her name came up because there is not a 'married partner' in the computer and I have told them both to see into that and to decline the help offered. Thank you all for your help! the links were especially useful.
It sounds like a computer based thing that her name came up because there is not a 'married partner' in the computer and I have told them both to see into that and to decline the help offered. Thank you all for your help! the links were especially useful.
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Re: rights of new parents as to maternity services
Kela collects records of "avopuoliso" when you apply for most benefits. I am guessing this is the trigger. For future purposes one of them should log into the Kela web service and add the spousal information.Haatchi wrote: It sounds like a computer based thing that her name came up because there is not a 'married partner' in the computer and I have told them both to see into that and to decline the help offered. Thank you all for your help! the links were especially useful.
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Re: rights of new parents as to maternity services
Regardless, without being married she is a "single mother" and nothing changes that (except marriage before the birth). Even if you are "avopuoliso" for 10 years and have 10 kids together, the paperwork to come to the magistrate to "confess paternity" and settle child support & all that will come and needs to be dealt with.
"By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes."
Something wicked this way comes."