Finnish girls hate racism... but are racists themselves?

[dsi11]

I am white, blond, half-Finn, male, living in Finland 17 years. I have had Finnish girlfriends most of the years, including most recently for 7 years, we broke up 2 years ago.

My Finnish female friends
- are proud to have multi-racial friends (and that is great! )
- are vociferously anti-racism
- on Facebook are often posting articles about how, for example, a black man is somehow abused on the bus and would write things like "Häpeä olla Suomalainen!!" (I'm ashamed to be Finnish!!)
- love to meet foreign guys and think everything black & American is "cool"

But...
My Finnish ex-girlfriend loved to visit Asia (beaches & shopping) but in Finland used the term "vino silmät" (slant eyes).

Then I dated a Chinese girl for a couple of months last year.
- we did not have a huge age difference
- she was tall and well dressed (did not look like a "thai huora", another term frequently heard in Finland)
I COULD NOT BELIEVE the stares we were getting from Finnish women. Usually on the tram, I see blank faces, but now they were suddenly looks of scorn and hate. I have never gotten looks like that from anyone, anywhere. It was surreal.
We even got bumped into while walking and minding our own business.

I think Finnish girls tend to have a superiority complex about themselves.
I remember a Finnish girl asking me about my Finnish mother and foreigner father, and she said "the Finnish woman is Finland's best export product", and she was completely serious, not joking.
My ex-gf often referred to Finnish guys with Asian girlfriends as losers who could not get a Finnish girl
Why then should they be insecure when they see a Finnish guy chose another race?
Or are they just racist themselves?

[dsi11]

Was going to say that maybe you just had a racist girlfriend, but maybe not if you were getting stares. Don't know why they stared (a bit stupid really), this is 2015 not 1950.

True, my ex was the only one who I ever heard say "vino silmät" but I have heard "thai huora" from many others.

women who marry foreigners tend to go for Western world educated men and move abroad to be with them, Finnish men tend who marry foreigners tend to import Russian and South-East Asian women. (Not a guess - these trends are all reflected in in the official registered info.)

Well... here you're making it sound like Finnish women choose from the cream of the crop, while Finnish men are left with the more desperate of women.
But apart from "Western world educated men", many Finnish women bring African, Turkish and Latino men to Finland. For example, Turks and Russians appear on this list: http://www.iltasanomat.fi/seksi-parisuh ... 33559.html

Interesting that Finnish women are supposedly strong and equal, and yet they are (sometimes) attracted to men from the Middle East, a place where women face problems with inequality.

As for the South-East Asians, there's something of a perception that their life's ambition is to keep house, cook for a husband and raise a family (probably often true) - it appeals to those Finnish men who really cannot be bothered with having an equal relationship and would prefer to pay (work) in order to be pampered.

Funny, the Chinese girl I was with was a businesswoman, financially independent and intellectual, and who did not want to have children (so hard to find a girl like that ). Alas, China is not "South East Asia"

Be different. Try smiling at the scowls. Or talking to them in English, lol.

Haha, true, thanks

[007]

"a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle." Most women feel empowered with such statement. When men do not care about women...... there's gonna be a complaint and I see this men marrying third world country women as an example of men not caring about western women, either they consider western women too demanding or they do not have much chance with them.

When I see interracial* families in the streets (Haaparanta is an amazing place... saw there so many such couples) of Finland, it's mostly Finnish man, foreigner wife and kids. Finnish woman, foreigner husband, and kids very rare. Anyway, nowadays I don't even look at them... or people in general.

*as far as I can distinguish

[007]

True, my ex was the only one who I ever heard say "vino silmät" but I have heard "thai huora" from many others.

I think it's quite common than what eyes can see. Such remarks might be very limited to the conversation between partners or close friends e.g. my wife and her mother etc. mostly as a humor

[dsi11]

True, my ex was the only one who I ever heard say "vino silmät" but I have heard "thai huora" from many others.

I think it's quite common than what eyes can see. Such remarks might be very limited to the conversation between partners or close friends e.g. my wife and her mother etc. mostly as a humor

That's true, she would not say that to other people.

And I do have a very dark, non-PC sense of humor. I enjoy jokes about races, nationalities, etc, and see them as harmless.
I think it tends to be Finnish men who make the more non-PC jokes, however, rather than women. At least, the men dare to do so out loud in the workplace (something that would never happen in the US or Canada).

As a Canadian, I don't mind the Beiber/CelineDion/Nickelback/Curling jokes, hit me with all you got!

[dsi11]

Oh come on. Shall we also have the "Finland is not Scandinavia" argument? Everybody I know calls China part of South East Asia. Incidentally, for what it's worth, I wasn't referring to your relationship when I mentioned the Finnish men who can't be bothered with having an equal partner. You've already made it fairly clear that you're not the stereotype at all, and all the Chinese women that I know are hard-working people who have no interest in playing slave to any man

Ah, no, sorry, what I meant is that the people giving us mean looks were probably thinking she was a SE Asian woman looking for a rich man to raise a family with. Instead, she was an independent businessperson who did not want a family.

For what it's worth, I would consider south China (Hong Kong, Guangdong, etc) to be SE Asia, but this girl was from way up north, beside Japan.

And I often include Finland in Scandinavia because I'm too lazy to correct it to "Nordic"

[Flossy1978]

Sometimes Finnish men can't get Finnish women and resort to third world country women because they know they can treat the women as less, not as well. Or it gives the men a feeling of superiority. Also, not all Finnish men are that great. They demand a lot from their partners, like they must work and must keep house. Not to mention the high rate of mental illness and drunks amongst Finnish men. They often resort to foreigners who know no better because Finnish women don't want them. Finnish women can be a threat to Finnish men too.

[Nimi]

It all boils down to individuality. Both men and women wants family or getting settled with a loved one and have family (not all), Mail order concept is just too a western concept that makes the men feel insecured in falling in love with even with foreign women who have good intentions of marrying and raising family with them. Mind you most of the third world countries still have polygamy as a marriage form and theses women still feel much secured with their husband and love him.

There are several success stories of foreign marriages and has positively impacted a countries history and civilization.

When people go into marriage with open heart and trust , believing they can succeed they will. Marriage and family are projects that cannot be completed even after death, you keep building it even before the marriage, to engagement, just married, bearing children, the quarrels and misunderstandings, having the grand kids, celebrating 50 years of marriage, death and after death events etc.

Love have no boundaries!

[ajdias]

I think Finnish girls tend to have a superiority complex about themselves.
I remember a Finnish girl asking me about my Finnish mother and foreigner father, and she said "the Finnish woman is Finland's best export product", and she was completely serious, not joking.
My ex-gf often referred to Finnish guys with Asian girlfriends as losers who could not get a Finnish girl
Why then should they be insecure when they see a Finnish guy chose another race?

Yes, women here are pretty insecure. Nobody likes outsiders coming to "eat" on their own turf, be it Asian women or Turkish men. Local men seem to be more accepting (for the lack of a better word) about this, women will readily stamp you as a looser (and guys too, even if they can "understand") if you take a partner from certain countries.

[dsi11]

not all Finnish men are that great. They demand a lot from their partners, like they must work and must keep house. Not to mention the high rate of mental illness and drunks amongst Finnish men.

High rate of mental illness? Any source you can provide to confirm that?

As for Finnish male drunks, I have often heard Finnish women complain about Finnish men drinking, but:
- when I see them drink (in bars/nightclubs), they are annoying but very rarely violent. Contrast that with drunks in Ireland, UK, Australia, USA, Canada, etc. where bar fights are much more common.
- what do Finnish women often do when they go out together? They get drunk. Often the same ones who complain about men drinking.

My problem with Finnish drunks are the old, disheveled (homeless?) ones that get on the tram and harrass other passengers and sightseeing tourists.

I don't drink alcohol, I much prefer marijuana (whenever I travel to places where it's legal). Nobody is violent on weed, it's far too relaxing Wish it was legal here...

[Flossy1978]

Over the years there have been studies about Finnish men and mental illness. Go Google it.

Being a drunk doesn't necessarily equal being violent. Just being an alcoholic alone would be a very trying thing for a woman and other family members to put up with. My Finnish friend is married to a drunk. He's never been violent towards her or their children. But it's a very difficult life for her. She will end up leaving him,eventually.

As if you do dope just in legal countries

[tuttu]

Then I dated a Chinese girl for a couple of months last year.
- she was tall and well dressed (did not look like a "thai huora", another term frequently heard in Finland)
I COULD NOT BELIEVE the stares we were getting from Finnish women. Usually on the tram, I see blank faces, but now they were suddenly looks of scorn and hate. I have never gotten looks like that from anyone, anywhere. It was surreal.

reminds me of something...

i was studying in outokumpu (a small town in pohjois-karjala). many of my co-students came to finland only for studying - and to this godforsaken place of all possibilities!
one of them, a young woman from germany, had a korean mother.
walking down the street, she said she often got weird looks and several times men came to talk to her in broken english, asking if she was from thailand (amongst other things).
when she said that she was actually german, they just wouldn't believe her.

heh.

[DMC]

Keeping up with the debate here, I've found only uneducated or half educated Finnish women are the ones who tend to have Foreign partners.

I have never met an educated finnish women with reputed pay job have a foreigner spouse in Finland.

Then I should introduce you to my wife. She is a Dr of Science with an MBA, a Diploma Engineer and a high ranking job with a well-known Finnish company. We live in the middle of nowhere in Finland.

[riku2]

I've found only uneducated or half educated Finnish women are the ones who tend to have Foreign partners.
I have never met an educated finnish women with reputed pay job have a foreigner spouse in Finland.
The most finnish women I met/see who has foreign partner are either unemployed after leaving school and not going to university, or doing blue collor jobs like cleaning/newspaper delivery, etc

I'm British with Finnish partner, we live in Finland with my other half working for the government. I'm pretty sure when she goes to the UN in Geneva she's not cleaning the floors there or delivering newspapers, so here's another couple to disprove your theory.

And I think it's quite common that educated finnish women find a husband in some place like the USA or UK and they move back to Finland when they start a family due to the education system and brining up kinds in a more family friendly country. So that is another reason for those educated types to live in Finland.

[ajdias]

I have never met an educated finnish women with reputed pay job have a foreigner spouse in Finland. The most finnish women I met/see who has foreign partner are either unemployed after leaving school and not going to university, or doing blue collor jobs like cleaning/newspaper delivery, etc.

Finnish woman, foreigner husband, and kids very rare.

So the situation of Brain Drain here? Educated Finnish women migrating to her partner's country and uneducated ones importing from 3rd world.

Lol, under which rock do you guys live? Plenty of educated women around with foreign partners, at least in the capital.
Many live abroad but return home to "lay the eggs"