Divorce

Hank W. · Post by **Hank W.** » Fri May 14, 2004 11:16 am

Why would they collect the passport? The process you can stay here of course. The problem with not being registered in Helsinki is for example you cannot get the cheap bus ticket, you cannot go to the county offices to ask help etc. and all official things you have to do in Turku.

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PeterF · Post by **PeterF** » Fri May 14, 2004 11:17 am

AleXa wrote:oh. how about my staying in finland?..i can stay here while the process of divorce is going,right? are they taking passports away during this period?

You are still married to this guy ..until the final date when the divorce is absolute..you are the wife of a Finn..you stay here!

AleXa · Post by **AleXa** » Fri May 14, 2004 11:21 am

PeterF wrote:
AleXa wrote:oh. how about my staying in finland?..i can stay here while the process of divorce is going,right? are they taking passports away during this period?
You are still married to this guy ..until the final date when the divorce is absolute..you are the wife of a Finn..you stay here!

thats horrible! so the moment i am not wife, i have to go away from the place where i lived for years??? soo unfair..

PeterF · Post by **PeterF** » Fri May 14, 2004 11:31 am

AleXa wrote:
PeterF wrote:
AleXa wrote:oh. how about my staying in finland?..i can stay here while the process of divorce is going,right? are they taking passports away during this period?
You are still married to this guy ..until the final date when the divorce is absolute..you are the wife of a Finn..you stay here!
thats horrible! so the moment i am not wife, i have to go away from the place where i lived for years??? soo unfair..

Hee heee Slow down that is not what I said..I said you can stay you are still his wife until the divorce is absolute and final..the decesion on if you can stay after that date is a seperate thing..Hank..what are the rules??..been here 5 years married to a Finn for one year todate..probaby two by the time the divorece is final..In my opinion she can ask to stay and it should be OK..not 100% sure though..

AleXa · Post by **AleXa** » Fri May 14, 2004 11:34 am

5 years? no..i m only married for 1,5 year, november 2002..i dont even have the permanent residence permit. but i had been in finland since 1998, when i strated my studies here..

one more question-- i have a husband's last name. after the divorce, can i keep the last name?or? what are the rules about that?

PeterF · Post by **PeterF** » Fri May 14, 2004 11:48 am

It is going to June next year when you will no longer married that will be 2.5 years married to a Finn...you have been a temp resident (student) since...1998...that will become 7 years by the time you are divorced.
So some time before then you need to visit the imigration office and apply for "permanent residence".. or to extend your current temp residence...sorry at Turku police station unless you officialy re-register your official address as in Helsinki.

strawberry · Post by **strawberry** » Fri May 14, 2004 11:56 am

AleXa wrote:one more question-- i have a husband's last name. after the divorce, can i keep the last name?or? what are the rules about that?

Course you can. Whether you want to is another matter entirely...

AleXa · Post by **AleXa** » Fri May 14, 2004 8:06 pm

strawberry wrote:[Course you can. Whether you want to is another matter entirely...

but what if he doesn want i keep his last name? court again?..
there had huge paper work of changing the last name and passport, so when i think of that *work* again..ooohho..

strawberry · Post by **strawberry** » Fri May 14, 2004 9:11 pm

AleXa wrote:but what if he doesn want i keep his last name? court again?.. there had huge paper work of changing the last name and passport, so when i think of that *work* again..ooohho..

AleXa, my dear, you really need some help from someone face-to-face... Please consider at least phoning one of the numbers Hank (I believe) passed on. Don't let this guy grind you down, please! It is no longer up to him to decide what your name will be - he has given you his name and cannot take it back... Imagine, the palaver with renewing passports and goodness knows what - you've done that once already, remember??? (Addresses, mail, passport, bank accounts, subscriptions, memberships... The change-of-surname list is endless...)

Please, you also need someone to help you build up your confidence - which, I know for a fact, is not very easy following a crisis of this kind and no-one can do it for you but may be able to help you on the way... Someone, perhaps, who speaks your mother tongue, it might be just the thing?

Another thing is that you do need some legal counselling, too, to ensure this guy won't rip you off completely! I know you said earlier you don't care about possessions, and that is admirable up to a point, of course, but you owe it to yourself to keep in mind that there is life after this so called husband and "a man of honour", as you put it...!!

I'm sure you understand what I mean?

I hope we have already been able to be of assistance, and surely will continue to try, but I fear this forum may not be enough.

So, AleXa, on Monday morning you pick up the phone and make an appointment to meet up with that lady Hank mentioned, yes?

Ok, in the meanwhile, have a relaxing weekend. One just for AleXa, eh?

AleXa · Post by **AleXa** » Fri May 14, 2004 10:37 pm

Strawberry! thank you so much for such a support. i do need it, and really appreciate it.
i am going for councelling, as soon as i can..i am just such a person who does really need a good kick to start doing things and not just crying or talking about them over and over..

you too have a nice weekends!

AleXa · Post by **AleXa** » Thu May 20, 2004 2:54 am

well, i got those divorce notifications just today. it said that i have to return the notification to the kääräoikeus with my signature as soon as possible..thats ok with that..
well, he had been visiting lawyer and said that there is no 50 / 50 because we havent been married long enough for that splitting..

but i m still the half owner of the house..or am i not anymore automatically after divorce?..
is there any service that could help to send my things from Turku to Helsinki? police or court or some social service?..i cannot go myself to Turku..

AleXa · Post by **AleXa** » Thu May 20, 2004 2:56 am

PeterF wrote:It is going to June next year when you will no longer married that will be 2.5 years married to a Finn....

i actually start to doubt that it would take so long time, one year divorce?? how come?

AleXa · Post by **AleXa** » Thu May 20, 2004 3:01 am

aah, i still havent call to any counselling about all these things..

i will let you know when i call...

PeterF · Post by **PeterF** » Thu May 20, 2004 12:50 pm

AleXa wrote:..
well, he had been visiting lawyer and said that there is no 50 / 50 because we havent been married long enough for that splitting.. but i m still the half owner of the house..or am i not anymore automatically after divorce?..
..

Find a lawyer...I think he is trying it on...I have not heard of the need for a minimum time the marriage has to be ...

strawberry · Post by **strawberry** » Thu May 20, 2004 2:34 pm

PeterF wrote:
AleXa wrote:..
well, he had been visiting lawyer and said that there is no 50 / 50 because we havent been married long enough for that splitting.. but i m still the half owner of the house..or am i not anymore automatically after divorce?..
..
Find a lawyer...I think he is trying it on...I have not heard of the need for a minimum time the marriage has to be ...

I agree with Peter, AleXa. You must try and find a legal counsel as well - otherwise he'll rip you off completely!!

Who knows, there may be a clause for something like that, but bottom line is you MUST find out from a professional...!! There used to be something called the "Oikeusaputoimisto" for people who don't have the money to cough up the steep fees for the lawyers but I really don't know how it works... Sorry. Maybe this lady Hank mentioned would know... Or someone similar? You know, you could TRY and call the Familia Club, a multicultural society in Helsinki, they may be able to point you to the right direction! There have been, I think, even Russian memebers of staff but in the very least Russian volunteers. It's on Pengerkatu in Sörnäinen. Phone no is 09-738628. Try them, at least!

Good luck...

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