Woman Screwed Me Over / Advice

[Piet]

If you were non-EU you could not start a job before getting a permit and the threshold is high for getting one.

Ok, so it's not the RP it's the right of residence for EU citisens. He is EU, called it "residence permit" and "application visa letter", and he went through the procedure so I thought it was just called that. I don't need the civil thing, but I would really like not to have to be breaking a law by staying here unregistered, if it is enough that my bf and I go to police and say we were together for 6 years(sans the incoming baby).

If you are already 6 years together and there is a baby on the way, just get married now! Than all things are soooo much easier with permanent residents permits (you get it without a problem when married to a Finn) and recognition of the baby. And if the baby is born in Finland, the baby is Finnish and has right for everything any other Fin would get, and because you are the mother taking care of a Finnish child as the mother, you get the right to stay here permanent too, even after a divorce (as long as you are at least part-time taking care of the child).

Regarding the OP, I guess he runs out of luck as soon as the mother of the child gets married with someone else before the birth of the child, his only hope of staying here and being able to claim unemployment benefits from Kela is when he gets recognized as the father and gets at least partial custody over the child (which is not that easy either).
Of course he should just get a job, than all problems with staying here are gone and it will increase his chances of getting this (partial) custody after birth of his child, he is EU so no working permit is needed (since 1995...when Finland joined EU when I recall correctly ).

[Piet]

[(sans the incoming baby).

If you are already 6 years together and there is a baby on the way, just get married now!

SANS (=without).
There is no baby.

Forgive me, my French is rusty, when I try to speak French nowadays, it becomes automatically Finnish

Well there is the solution.... get married AND get a baby

[Tiwaz]

If you are already 6 years together and there is a baby on the way, just get married now! Than all things are soooo much easier with permanent residents permits (you get it without a problem when married to a Finn) and recognition of the baby. And if the baby is born in Finland, the baby is Finnish and has right for everything any other Fin would get, and because you are the mother taking care of a Finnish child as the mother, you get the right to stay here permanent too, even after a divorce (as long as you are at least part-time taking care of the child).

Wrong. Child born in Finland is not Finnish. Child OF Finnish citizen is Finnish. Place of birth has nothing to do with it.
Which is good thing. Else we would have floods of pregnant women rushing to give birth here for easy RP.

[Tiwaz]

Else we would have floods of pregnant women rushing to give birth here for easy RP.

We HAVE floods of people rushing to come here to get easy RP. Keep up, Tiwaz!!

That is true, but they are not pregnant women about to burst, instead just healthy guys who are so afraid of war that they must get asylum. Unless they are not happy with all the free stuff they receive, in which case it is not so dangerous back home after all.

[Rip]

Another question now, am I able to request for an apartment from Kela or whichever is the appropriate office for it, by simply having my social security number? I mean, would that oblige me to receive a residence permit?

You don't need (can't get more or less) a residence permit. You need a registration.
I'm bit doubtful that you'll be considered a priority case when comes to municipal apartments (a man, living alone)

[rinso]

(a man, living alone)

And without income

[Flossy1978]

Yeah, you'd be at the bottom of the list for housing. Single parents, the disabled and low-income families come first.

[Piet]

Else we would have floods of pregnant women rushing to give birth here for easy RP.

We HAVE floods of people rushing to come here to get easy RP. Keep up, Tiwaz!!

That is true, but they are not pregnant women about to burst, instead just healthy guys who are so afraid of war that they must get asylum. Unless they are not happy with all the free stuff they receive, in which case it is not so dangerous back home after all.

You are wrong, place of birth determines nationality, when you are born in Finland, you automatically get Finnish nationality (if no other means of getting the nationality of the parents is possible...f.e stateless, no papers, government of parents nationality does not cooperate, etc.)

Proof:

http://www.migri.fi/download/16429_Suom ... f251b8d288

read how Finnish citizenship is obtained.

So we were both wrong and right at the same time, just the circumstances decide if a child gets the Finnish nationality at birth.

But in OP's case... this is a bit off topic..

I wish him good luck being homeless and without means of existence here in Finland with the winter coming, he might after the Christians get sick of him, try the mosques after that, lets see if the Muslims follow their rules of aiding a beggar too...

My 2 cents for the OP are:

Go back to Britain, get the (financial) help you need there and start you quest for a return when the baby is born and fight for the (partly) parenthood then....at least start to get recognised as the father first, then search for a place to stay in Finland and a possible Job, then move to Finland with your 3 months of British unemployment payment paid by kela (which is paid by UK to kela) if you do not have a job jet, keep searching for it (Prisma / S-group supermaket will do fine or try lasila & tikanoja cleaning firm). Learn Finnish in the meanwhile you are waiting in England.. at least the basics... (I/you have ,I am , I want, I need, and some vocabulary to finish those sentences) search with google for "Finnish language learning pack updated", that will keep you busy for a while....

And maybe...you will be more lucky in the future...

Another option: Find a new Finnish Girlfriend that wants to marry you an help you fight for your kid... a married couple has more chance of getting the kid, than a single psychotic mother. Last but not least.....Be careful with the christians...and the muslims, they caused major suffering to people through history...(i bet this remark will cause some passionate replies)

thats all folks...

[ajdias]

I've learned from my past mistakes, and I will NOT be seeing her again, unless it's related to the baby.

Don't fool yourself. Unless you move away from the country, you'll always be drawn to her. Right now you may think of yourself as strong-headed, but this woman has a strong effect on you and you'll have weak moments, just like anyone else. Am not interested in bringing you down, you know that this will happen if you think for a moment.

This may sound awful, but at this point you're just the sperm donor. Nothing more than that. Yes, that child deserves a father. It also deserves functioning parents that can work together and act as adults, which is not likely to happen anytime soon (how's she working with the father of the older children? How was it while you were in the uk?) Staying around for the child will likely not improve your life and may easily turn you in a bitter miserable dude, particularly if you're going to be in touch with the mother of the child. I hope to be wrong but you're prob better off as a father and man if you can surround yourself with your family, friends and travel here to see the kid regularly.

[tuttu]

folks, you're all handing out relationship advice "kilokaupalla"? really?
let's stick to the facts:

you'd be at the bottom of the list for housing. Single parents, the disabled and low-income families come first.

no job, no family members in Finland, no savings, no means of support. Do you really feel you fulfill the conditions for EU registration? How? You think it won't be removed? I do not think the police are that stupid, you're clearly living off charity and that's going to continue for the foreseeable future.

i am not 100% sure about that last remark, is it a fact that op is now dependent on what poliisi answers?
i'd think if they're a EU citizen, they can just hang out for quite a while, no?
of course, getting benefits and even a flat (!) in the capital region (!!!) is a completely different matter.

[justaguy]

This is seriously a terrible year for men engaged to, or married to Finnish women.

One of the guys in my degree programme in Uni here in Helsinki is going through the same problem. Even worse is that he has some form of schizophrenia and his wife kicked him out of the house without giving him his medication. He actually started a bunch of fights in my Uni afterwards and smashed up one of the lifts for no reason. Absolutely terrified my friend who was inside.

From what I heard, he's been sleeping at the railway station and well obviously he's been missing so much uni courses. I don't know what's really been going on with him lately because he's not been around to talk to but she did this to him at a terrible time. Sure you could justify that now that he can get some HOAS place or something (and even easier if he says he has no place to live) then it's kind of 'fair enough' to boot him out of the house. But she could have given him his medication.

Anyway this post sounds kind of a lot like what's been happening with this guy.

Sorry to hear about your problem. I am not sure if this is the first thread you have made here but I've read so many of these this year in various places like Facebook, This forum, Couchsurfing etc.
Some women in this country really are !"#¤% insane. It becomes evident a lot more too after they get pregnant. D

Anyway, I can't advise you on much except to just talk to the police, talk to the church, talk to whoever. Try and stay if you can, you're EU so you don't really need a reason. Just write this bitch off and find another woman. There's plenty to go around.

Just saw this...

My 20yo can't get a rental apartment here and she's a citizen who speaks the language. She can't even get unemployment benefits. Why the heck should foreigners get it when they have absolutely no ties to the country?
Come back when you have a reason to be here. You will still be miserable and aimless without language, money, a roof or any job prospects, but at least a resident permit application might be successful.

Your 20 year old sounds like a bit of an idiot then.. maybe like her mother ?

I moved here at 17 by myself and found an apartment with zero knowledge of the language and without any help what-so-ever. What's stopping your 20 year old daughter with a passport who speaks the language? Laziness? Bad parenting? Perhaps both?
Please do tell me how 'hard' it is to find an apartment in HKI or whatever. I've found how many now..? *counts* 1..2..3...4..5..6..7! Already! Yet your 20 year old daughter can't find one? REALLY?! Actually at one point summer 2014 I had THREE apartments here in HKI that I could have rented so I actually pawned the other 2 off to other people who were falling all over themselves to get one.

Honestly it's amusing to see your opinion change so often to people in the forums here. One minute your telling everyone we should open the bloody gates to all these mamut (also with no ties to this country) and advising them to just skip the queues and push in, in front of others in the Police station. And the next you're bitching at someone because you think that your daughter deserves housing and benefits more than he does? He's got a kid here to a crazy bitch. He's going to be a father and you, as a mother are telling him to just abandon his kid? I agree that he's not really thinking straight and winter is coming but for @#$% sake woman! You're as mad as the bitch he's having problems with.

[AldenG]

And here I heard that Aussies abroad stick up for each other.

Maybe it's a habit one learns with time and experience.

[ajdias]

This is seriously a terrible year for men engaged to, or married to Finnish women.

One of the guys in my degree programme in Uni here in Helsinki is going through the same problem. Even worse is that he has some form of schizophrenia and his wife kicked him out of the house without giving him his medication. He actually started a bunch of fights in my Uni afterwards and smashed up one of the lifts for no reason. Absolutely terrified my friend who was inside.

You new to Finland?

I've got a theory that foreign dudes often fall for these chicks because they lack the detector the locals have develop. Sure, like attracts like and you won't fall for such a wreck without a good dose of craziness from yourself, but foreigners are often caught by surprise bc Finnish chicks can be pretty aggressive in dating.
Or perhaps this is my own observer bias. The cases that show up in these boards only do so bc they're extreme, and I do tend to notice many of these girls hanging out in places popular with foreigners.

Often the situation is made worse bc dudes are out of their environment, without social support, have precarious work, and no knowledge of the law, culture and customs.
Schizo dude above is a good example. A Finn would prob go to the police and have them help him get his meds, or go to the hospital. He'd have a family or some close friends to stay with. Or perhaps, he'd stay away from such woman in the first place.

[betelgeuse]

You also seem too stupid to know that under-25s have special rules for the Kela payments. FWIW I have TWO adult children who can't get benefits. Kela: "not fitting our definition of a student because not in public education". MOL: "studying too many hours to be an unemployed jobseeker, go and ask Kela for student payment". Guess what happens next? No money, go away. You clearly don't know what you're on about. As usual.

If they have no assets to their name, sounds like they can be eligible for income support from the municipality.

What I told him is that he is not a father and he does not have a child. This is according to Finnish law and his (lack of) rights.

He does have the right under Finnish law to be recognized as the father. However, he will have trouble becoming a guardian. Only the latter is relevant for immigration purposes.

http://www.vaestoliitto.fi/parisuhde/ti ... -huoltaja/

[JoninVelat]

You new to Finland?

I've got a theory...

Registered just to QFT. You don't stick your dick into crazy at home, you MOST DEF don't do it abroad because it gets you into real and actual !"#¤% which in Finland includes incredulous bureaucracy in Helsinki and vodka and firearms in the sticks.