Finnish Guy: Friendship or Something Else?

Morsatra · Post by **Morsatra** » Mon Mar 28, 2016 4:13 am

Hei everyone,

I'll try not to write a big text here explaining what happend to me over these 20 past days. (hard not to write too much)

First of all, I am from Brazil. I started a new job at a Hotel as a bilingual recepcionist. So I met this Finnish guy who is at the Hotel, he is 30 years old and I'm 19. This is the first guy I like that is this age (lol)
During my first week working there, I had to make the first move and say "You are too quiet hahah" and he said "Yeah, I'm from Finland". After this, he started to talk to me and start some small talks like "are you on inght shifts?" "how was your day?"
Last sunday (March 17th) we went out because he invited me. I really don't know how it happened, because he is Finnish and they usually don't speak too much. He told me that id I was interested in, he would go out to drink some beers, so I went. We talked a lot (really, I still don't know how, probably because of the beer lol). It was a cool night. He even paid all the bill. I told him that I wanted to share it, but he did not agree with it (lol, I've heard that Finnish guys don't like to pay the bill all by themselves) After this day he always talks to me and asks me how I am, how my day was, etc...

I haven't asked him his phone number yet because I'm not sure if he will get angry, have bad thoughts about me or something, but I'd really like to be his friend and talk more to him. I know he will return to Finland at the end of April, so I also think I should stop thinking of him all the time and thinking on a possibility of being more than friends.

I'd like you people to help to make a decision. Should I keep these small talks to him? Should I ask him his phone number? He only sees me as a friend?
Thank you all

**Sponsor:**

Oombongo · Post by **Oombongo** » Mon Mar 28, 2016 6:49 pm

You can ask for his phone number. That is just about being in contact.
And if he is not planning to be back to Brazil then it is safe to assume that he is not interested.
On side note: Age doesn't mean much in your case at all.

Morsatra · Post by **Morsatra** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 2:27 am

Oombongo wrote:You can ask for his phone number. That is just about being in contact.
And if he is not planning to be back to Brazil then it is safe to assume that he is not interested.
On side note: Age doesn't mean much in your case at all.

I'll ask his phone number, you are right, i have to talk to him first...and I still did not ask him if he's planning to come back to Brazil, I'll also ask him it.
And I don't mind so much about my age hahah..

Thank you so much for your reply!

Beep_Boop · Post by **Beep_Boop** » Tue Mar 29, 2016 9:07 am

Part of being an adult is taking responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Nobody on the internet can help you with this decision as you're the only one who knows your exact situation.
However, in the spirit of being helpful, I'll say this: Think with yourself about your feelings on this, talk to the guy and hear him, tell him what you think, and just be honest. Good luck.

Pursuivant · Post by **Pursuivant** » Wed Mar 30, 2016 7:08 pm

What are you waiting, give him a blowjob already

Beep_Boop · Post by **Beep_Boop** » Wed Mar 30, 2016 8:04 pm

Pursuivant wrote:What are you waiting, give him a blowjob already

Classy.

Morsatra · Post by **Morsatra** » Thu Mar 31, 2016 6:26 am

Pursuivant wrote:What are you waiting, give him a blowjob already

HAHAHAAH OMG no. Super classy.

Morsatra · Post by **Morsatra** » Thu Mar 31, 2016 6:36 am

Beep_Boop wrote:Part of being an adult is taking responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Nobody on the internet can help you with this decision as you're the only one who knows your exact situation.
However, in the spirit of being helpful, I'll say this: Think with yourself about your feelings on this, talk to the guy and hear him, tell him what you think, and just be honest. Good luck.

Well, my boss talked to me today about going out with this guy. She said that when he invites me (or any other hotel's guest which I work) I must refuse it because it is not 'polite' of my part and it is not being 'professional'. That I have to be careful with these guys (brazilian and foreing) because I'm young and beautiful and they might want something else (sex, of course).

I understand her side, but I really know how to separate my personal life and my business life. The days I went out with them were my off days. In MY opinion there's nothing wrong on going out with some friends that I've made. But, I have to agree with my boss not to be fired

PS: And today this Finnish guy invited me again to go out with him and drink some beer, but I told him I'd work until 23h and it was late for me. lol I still did not ask his phone, and I'm starting to realize that he wants 'something else' than just friendship. (that's not great news for me, 'cause I also do not want 'something else')

Beep_Boop · Post by **Beep_Boop** » Thu Mar 31, 2016 9:53 am

What do you mean "he wants something else"? To me it looks like you're being very naive. Of course a guy who's asking you out wants to eventually have sex with you. There's no ambiguity here. Did you really think a foreign guy who is in the country for a couple of weeks is asking you out to be friend? Sure, it might happen, but it's extremely highly unlikely.

If you're at a stage of your life where you don't want to be sexually active, then you have to adjust your other decisions to that big life decision as well. In my opinion, it's unlikely that any hotel visitor will go ask out a good looking receptionist (I'm assuming you're good looking because receptionists are usually chosen like that) to be her bestie; 99.9% of the time it's to eventually have sex with her. Even more so if he's an older guy.

You're still 19. Give it a few more years and you'll see how hard it is to make male friends (just friends). Unfortunately, that's one of the downsides of being good looking.

Flossy1978 · Post by **Flossy1978** » Thu Mar 31, 2016 11:40 am

The guy is a Finnish dude. Of course he just wants first to get into your pants LOL.

Finns don't do too much of the "girl and guy" friendship thing. Especially as adults. Not including gays who can do it happily

Maybe it has been changing with the new generations. But when I went to school in Finland, the girls all sat on one of the cafeteria and the guys on the other

Ha ha. True story!

Beep_Boop · Post by **Beep_Boop** » Thu Mar 31, 2016 2:20 pm

Flossy1978 wrote:The guy is a dude. Of course he just wants first to get into your pants LOL.

Guys don't do too much of the "girl and guy" friendship thing.

Fixed.

007 · Post by **007** » Fri Apr 01, 2016 10:53 am

A girl young and beautiful wonders whether a guy wants to shag her.... blonde jokes live on!

If you are not into sex only, best thing would be to try to first find out whether he has feeling towards you. If the feeling is mutual...of course, he will come back to Brazil and you to Finland etc. etc.

Pursuivant · Post by **Pursuivant** » Sat Apr 02, 2016 1:11 pm

I can understand the bosses opinion. We used to have a strict rule "fingers off the cargo" on the ships. No chigi-chigi even for Gopher

BlueJey · Post by **BlueJey** » Sun Apr 03, 2016 6:25 pm

Yellow people

!

Sorry for the person who started this topic. I don't want to steal your thunder here, I am just in a (somewhat) similar situation

I am a university student doing an exchange in Finland. I met this Finnish guy 2 months ago and we get along very well. We have the same kind of humor and just laugh and tease each other everytime we run into each other. We first met during an event where everybody mainly spoke Finnish. However, international students were also invited and so I relied on the willingness of Finns sitting next to me for translation. So the Finn in question translated most of the event to me as well as giving me some extra explanations here and there. The thing is that I didn't ask him anything, he just did. No he wasn't drunk, yes I swear he is a Finn. He just happens not to act like one most of the time which destabilizes me quite a lot.

A week after our first encounter, I went to a party organized by my student association. He was there as well. Again, he was the one who came to me and we talked for a good 15-20 min. He seemed to be happy to see me. The music was loud so I got closer to his ear so he could hear me. He did not flinch. When it was his turn to talk, he, however, kept a certain distance while talking. I left shortly after to go to a concert. After the concert, I tried to get in touch with him again through Facebook. He replied within seconds saying that now he was drunk but happy to talk to me.

He then started to invite me to various events as well as eating with him sometime at the university. I obviously accepted everything and even though this might sound a bit naive, I know that even when drunk, Finns do mean what they say. And so we did have lunch together about a week after that night. The day before the lunch, he gave me his phone number. I didn't ask for it, he just did. Again, we have met only twice when he did. During the lunch however, it was not just the 2 of us. Other of his classmates were there as well. They left after 15 min and we stayed together for 45 min talking about everything and nothing. He made a lot of jokes, teased me, we laughed most of the time.

After all this, I am seriously thinking he is into me. I am super happy because I am very into him. So I go to the events, we see each other about once a week (he lives quite far from the campus and is not always at the uni) and each time we see each other, we make jokes, tease each other, laugh. Sometimes he acted kind of shy when he saw me. And then I decided to tell him. After about a month since we first met I told him ''I like you'' but he replied ''well you are fun as a friend''... I am speechless, super confused. I thought there was something. I am of course very disappointed of his answer but still want to hang out with him because he is trully awesome and fun to be with. So, after a week of feeling like crap I decide to go talk to him again and act like nothing happened. It worked, we still both get along well and make fun of each other which is awesome because I didn't want to lose him. The only thing is that I am still very into him and sometimes just want to flirt. I am thinking: maybe it was too early? Do I still have a chance or if he said he is not interested in being more than friends I better forget about it now? If I try and make a move, would that be very bad?

Anyways, if you have been or heard a similar story, please tell me what to do. That would be greatly appreaciated.

Thanks a lot!

somiinrok · Post by **somiinrok** » Fri Jun 09, 2017 12:25 pm

hey!! you wrote this a year ago. I am in pretry simillar situation. But I tried not to think that he was interested in me because he will leave here pretty soon. But! I was talking waith my friend while he was smoking and I said to my other friend that oh I wouldn't have a smoking boy friend. I don't like the smell. Then this Finn guy said that then I should quit. And after that about two times when we talked about smoking he said that he was thinking of quitting smoking..... doesn't it mean thay he wanted to be my boyfriend? I just leave it as it is...then.... I found out that he had a girl friend at home...... while we were getting along he never mentioned about her so I didn't know about it..... I was really shocked as I was into him pretty much....anyway we are being apart for another my personal reason. He tole me to write a post card to him so I did asking whether he decided to quit smoking. He received it yesterday but not saying anything after he got it. I know all I have to do now is just waiting. But I wonder what's going on in his mind....

BlueJey wrote:Yellow people !

Sorry for the person who started this topic. I don't want to steal your thunder here, I am just in a (somewhat) similar situation

I am a university student doing an exchange in Finland. I met this Finnish guy 2 months ago and we get along very well. We have the same kind of humor and just laugh and tease each other everytime we run into each other. We first met during an event where everybody mainly spoke Finnish. However, international students were also invited and so I relied on the willingness of Finns sitting next to me for translation. So the Finn in question translated most of the event to me as well as giving me some extra explanations here and there. The thing is that I didn't ask him anything, he just did. No he wasn't drunk, yes I swear he is a Finn. He just happens not to act like one most of the time which destabilizes me quite a lot.

A week after our first encounter, I went to a party organized by my student association. He was there as well. Again, he was the one who came to me and we talked for a good 15-20 min. He seemed to be happy to see me. The music was loud so I got closer to his ear so he could hear me. He did not flinch. When it was his turn to talk, he, however, kept a certain distance while talking. I left shortly after to go to a concert. After the concert, I tried to get in touch with him again through Facebook. He replied within seconds saying that now he was drunk but happy to talk to me.

He then started to invite me to various events as well as eating with him sometime at the university. I obviously accepted everything and even though this might sound a bit naive, I know that even when drunk, Finns do mean what they say. And so we did have lunch together about a week after that night. The day before the lunch, he gave me his phone number. I didn't ask for it, he just did. Again, we have met only twice when he did. During the lunch however, it was not just the 2 of us. Other of his classmates were there as well. They left after 15 min and we stayed together for 45 min talking about everything and nothing. He made a lot of jokes, teased me, we laughed most of the time.

After all this, I am seriously thinking he is into me. I am super happy because I am very into him. So I go to the events, we see each other about once a week (he lives quite far from the campus and is not always at the uni) and each time we see each other, we make jokes, tease each other, laugh. Sometimes he acted kind of shy when he saw me. And then I decided to tell him. After about a month since we first met I told him ''I like you'' but he replied ''well you are fun as a friend''... I am speechless, super confused. I thought there was something. I am of course very disappointed of his answer but still want to hang out with him because he is trully awesome and fun to be with. So, after a week of feeling like crap I decide to go talk to him again and act like nothing happened. It worked, we still both get along well and make fun of each other which is awesome because I didn't want to lose him. The only thing is that I am still very into him and sometimes just want to flirt. I am thinking: maybe it was too early? Do I still have a chance or if he said he is not interested in being more than friends I better forget about it now? If I try and make a move, would that be very bad?

Anyways, if you have been or heard a similar story, please tell me what to do. That would be greatly appreaciated.

Thanks a lot!

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