Once you're in Finland how do you find friends or GF??

niceguy40 · Post by **niceguy40** » Mon Jul 04, 2016 8:13 am

Can anyone offer some advice to a westerner on how to meet friends and or a girlfriend in Finland. I might move there; and im a middle aged man. But I was thinking how awful it would be to show up and really not know even 1 person. That would suck. I have distant relatives there but I really don't anticipate them wanting to hang out, simply because I don't know exactly who they are and I've never met them.

But like how would a person go about meeting Finnish friends? Any advice would be appreciated. Kitos kienista

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Flossy1978 · Post by **Flossy1978** » Tue Jul 05, 2016 12:42 am

May I ask, why are you moving to Finland?

Your other post asking about what benefits you can receive, makes me wonder why you are moving to Finland? You do realise, any kind of money you could get will be quite minimal. Probably barely even enough to pay rent. You can't get unemployment, as you've never paid in the system. And the money for studying Finnish is very minimal. Certainly not enough to live off. You would be on the bottom of the list for city housing too (and probably other services too). It goes disabled, single parents, refugees, elderly, families and so on. Single people like you, be it woman or man, are at the bottom of the list for housing help.

As an adult moving to Finland, it can be quite difficult to make friends. Finnish women are also very proud and they are quite well known for kicking men to the gutter, quite easily. Not the warmest of people, Finnish women

And I don't really blame them. So many have had to put up with loser Finnish men, who can't cope with being adults. I found a lot of Finnish men were little Mummy's boys. There seems to be some "lets cuddle the boy, give them no responsibilities, etc" growing up, so they suck once they are adults. Not all, but quite a few. Girls seems to be brought up differently - seem to be taught self-reliance.

I had mostly only Finnish friends. I lived in Finland for fourteen years and I went there as a young adult. I was apparently unique, as other foreigners I knew through work just hung around other foreigners. Hardly any of them actually had any Finnish friends. And if they did, they were people they just acquainted with. Didn't really do much in life with. I got immersed properly in Finnish society, because outside of work, I did only have Finnish friends. A small group of them, we are still close now. They got me involved in all kinds of Finnish stuff, that really didn't have foreigners involved in it, because of this. So I was often the only foreigner. It was great. But I saw so many foreigners who just really did hang around other foreigners. Never really involving themselves much in Finnish life at all.

You really should think hard before you give up your life, there, wherever you live now. Financially speaking, you'll probably be in a world of hurt for a very long time, if you are lucky to even get a job. Combine long dark winters with no money and the loneliness, which comes from a country that is seen as quite cold, compared to other cultures........ Be prepared for some depression to hit you.

Remember, the grass is not always greener on the other side. And you shouldn't turn up in Finland with your hand out, expecting a lot. Not really a good way to start a new life in a foreign country you've ever given anything towards (true running for their lives refugees not included in this comment!).

Good luck in Finland

niceguy40 · Post by **niceguy40** » Thu Jul 07, 2016 10:41 am

Flossy1978 wrote:May I ask, why are you moving to Finland?

Your other post asking about what benefits you can receive, makes me wonder why you are moving to Finland? You do realise, any kind of money you could get will be quite minimal. Probably barely even enough to pay rent. You can't get unemployment, as you've never paid in the system. And the money for studying Finnish is very minimal. Certainly not...

Remember, the grass is not always greener on the other side. And you shouldn't turn up in Finland with your hand out, expecting a lot. Not really a good way to start a new life in a foreign country you've ever given anything towards (true running for their lives refugees not included in this comment!).

Good luck in Finland

Certain countries on the planet are becoming totalitarian police states. They're not any different than nazi germany or stalinistic soviet russia. That list includes: canada, usa, uk, china, australia, and some others. The freedom is leaving here so fast. It's scary. You have no idea. But that's a minor thing. I just want a change. I like the landscape of finland from what I can see in photos, as I do like lakes and nature. I'm basically looking for a safe place to retire and it's certainly not here.

niceguy40 · Post by **niceguy40** » Thu Jul 07, 2016 10:43 am

roger_roger wrote:
niceguy40 wrote:Can anyone offer some advice to a westerner on how to meet friends and or a girlfriend in Finland. I might move there; and im a middle aged man. But I was thinking how awful it would be to show up and really not know even 1 person. That would suck. I have distant relatives there but I really don't anticipate them wanting to hang out, simply because I don't know exactly who they are and I've never met them.

But like how would a person go about meeting Finnish friends? Any advice would be appreciated. Kitos kienista

Middle aged man moving here without knowing anyone, its really really hard to make friends here.

For girls maybe Nightclubs, pubs, organized parties and events, etc. where people tend to open a bit, but most of the contacts starts with sharing a drink and few conversations and ends as soon as they turn your back and head towards others. If you know how to pursue then it may last till morning where she wakes up and moves silently or wake you up and say to pack up and leave as her friends are on the way.

If you are studying then universities are bit better place but you are looked upon as old daddy rather then flirt material, still making friends are relatively easier. Very rarely any Finnish colleague will ever be friend, if you are lucky to have foreigner in the work place, then you'll find its easier to mix with him then fellow finn. If you go out with a Finn colleague for beer or two, the best they describe you is TyoKaveri.

You didn't mention where you are coming from or what brought you here and where in Finland, it also depends on the time you can dedicate for friends and so.

There is English speaking community called IE.SAF Finland, it has branches in most big cities like Tampere, Turku. I was member of it and used to attend lots of pub quizzes in Tampere. Although I was not that regular I still have some friends via it. The group is very active and have lots of events, If your target is to make friends with finns only then there are lots of Finns who like to socialize or have multicultural family attending the events. You might get lucky there

well I can always get a cat and a bird. ....ummm hmmm and visit Estonia??? ha ha j/k

Oombongo · Post by **Oombongo** » Thu Jul 07, 2016 10:54 am

Finnish ladies can be good friends (while maintaining their personal space) but tend to be lousy lovers. You may cope/accept with this aspect if you were born in here since you have seen this in your house or in your surroundings but if you are coming from abroad then be prepare for some nasty surprises. Why it is so? It is just the way things are in this part of the planet.
Most of the foreign fellas I know who have been with Finnish ladies are either divorced/broke up or in the heading towards that direction. The relation between a foreign dude and local lady simply doesn't work in a long term. Count it like a some sort of curse. Just use the search function luke

Hämeen Hitain · Post by **Hämeen Hitain** » Fri Jul 08, 2016 12:34 am

niceguy40 wrote: Certain countries on the planet are becoming totalitarian police states. They're not any different than nazi germany or stalinistic soviet russia. That list includes: canada, usa, uk, china, australia, and some others. The freedom is leaving here so fast. It's scary. You have no idea. But that's a minor thing. I just want a change. I like the landscape of finland from what I can see in photos, as I do like lakes and nature. I'm basically looking for a safe place to retire and it's certainly not here.

Welcome to Finland! As Hank W. said years ago: "Finnish bureaucracy was taught by the Russians who had hired Prussians to do the dirty work: Ordnung Müss Sein!" I am quite sure if Finland is what you want.

Piet · Post by **Piet** » Fri Jul 08, 2016 1:32 pm

Oombongo wrote:Finnish ladies can be good friends (while maintaining their personal space) but tend to be lousy lovers. You may cope/accept with this aspect if you were born in here since you have seen this in your house or in your surroundings but if you are coming from abroad then be prepare for some nasty surprises. Why it is so? It is just the way things are in this part of the planet.
Most of the foreign fellas I know who have been with Finnish ladies are either divorced/broke up or in the heading towards that direction. The relation between a foreign dude and local lady simply doesn't work in a long term. Count it like a some sort of curse. Just use the search function luke

I guess this greatly depends on where you end up in Finland.

It is my experience that people (and the ladies too) seem to be more open and warm welcoming in the east (karelia) and more closed and tough to get friends with in the west (turku / vasa / oulu). This might have to do with the swedish (speaking) influence/ heritage.

An other thing I noticed is the (noticeable) relatively bigger amount of lesbian girls / women couples in the Capital region so statistically less chance for the hetro Man finding a girl there.

Further more the ladies Oombongo is referring too are mostly just interested in a little adventure, but when the new polish and chrome has worn off, they will drop you in a heartbeat, with or without kids (some just want the kid).

that is my 2 pence worth of experience.

My advice: stay where you are (especially after the law for family reunification has changed).

For retirement, checkout Laos if you have a reasonable pension, nice women there too, just a bit smaller and less FAT.

niceguy40 · Post by **niceguy40** » Sat Jul 09, 2016 7:09 am

Flossy1978 wrote:May I ask, why are you moving to Finland?

Your with. Didn't really do much in life with. I got immersed properly in Finnish society, because outside of work, I did only have Finnish friends. A small group of them, we are still close now. They got me involved in all kinds of Finnish stuff, that really didn't have foreigners involved in it, because of this. So I was often the only foreigner. It was great. But I saw so many foreigners who just really did hang around other foreigners. Never really involving themselves much in Finnish life at all.
ng a lot. Not really a good way to start a new life in a foreign country you've ever given anything towards (true running for their lives refugees not included in this comment!).

Good luck in Finland

I could live off the land easy. All I need is a few bags of flour. A shovel, a knife and an axe and I'd make my own living in the back woods

niceguy40 · Post by **niceguy40** » Sat Jul 09, 2016 7:11 am

roger_roger wrote:
niceguy40 wrote:I like the landscape of finland from what I can see in photos, as I do like lakes and nature. I'm basically looking for a safe place to retire and it's certainly not here.
Maybe you haven't been to Indonesia, Thailand, Vietnam, Myanmar, Cambodia, Laos, Philippines and those part of the world. Nice landscape, lakes, islands, oceans, nice weather all year round, overall best place to retire for anybody. I can't even imagine to retire in Finland with such high cost of everything and very under staffed elderly care where budget is decreasing per year. Your money would run out in no time and the pension from your country might be too wee to survive. Better look at the countries I mentioned, they have pretty cheap living costs, maybe girls come easy too if you are lucky, also USA already destroyed them during 40s to 70s so, they aren't going back there and its safe.

ya good point. But finland would only be my summer location. I'd be gone for the rest of the year traveling the world. Especially going to warmer climates.

niceguy40 · Post by **niceguy40** » Sat Jul 09, 2016 7:24 am

I don't know, in reality, I might be so busy just trying to figure everythign out there that I'm not sure how quick I'd want to get involved. I should probably put some careful thought into it rather than just jump into whatever relationship I can find, which I tend to be bad for doing.

Flossy1978 · Post by **Flossy1978** » Sat Jul 09, 2016 10:27 am

So you plan on living in Finland during the summertime..... Scrounging off the Finnish people (unemployment money and whatnot), then disappear when winter sets in?

What a decent human being you are

P.S Trying to get a girlfriend in Finland, while you are sitting at home unemployed..... I don't think you'll get any decent Finnish women. Probably just drunks, or mentally deranged, something trashy along these lines.

AldenG · Post by **AldenG** » Sat Jul 09, 2016 10:50 am

Finland doesn't really have cougars, but I predict you'll have little trouble meeting a hungry wolverine who won't mind your language deficit a bit.

Lapland is pretty liberal-minded that way.

niceguy40 · Post by **niceguy40** » Sat Jul 09, 2016 9:31 pm

Flossy1978 wrote:So you plan on living in Finland during the summertime..... Scrounging off the Finnish people (unemployment money and whatnot), then disappear when winter sets in?

What a decent human being you are

P.S Trying to get a girlfriend in Finland, while you are sitting at home unemployed..... I don't think you'll get any decent Finnish women. Probably just drunks, or mentally deranged, something trashy along these lines.

That's not quite accurate. but here we call that being a snowbird

Pursuivant · Post by **Pursuivant** » Sun Jul 10, 2016 9:39 am

Well, there is that "blonde mating call" in the bar at last lights "ooh, I am so drunk", but it usually pertains to the female of the species...

But you know, some suburban ghettowhale would latch onto you thinking you're a rich hockey player or something.

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