moving to finland for löve..

nisha_n6 · Post by **nisha_n6** » Wed Jul 07, 2004 2:56 pm

acwan wrote: I guess what I am incredulous about is, is it really simply the office politics and the fact that he has no Finnish friends in Switzerland that is driving Nisha's SO out of Switz. or is it the ATTRACTION of having Finnish friends and a country with a system he can relate to that is pulling him to FIN? Of course, I can't say since I am not walking in his shoes, but how insurmountable are the problems he is facing really?

I have to explain something: He came to Switzerland because of me.

He was here 4 months, met me one week before he was leaving and he had already set his mind that he will never come back to this country, because he didn't like it.
He turned back half a year later, cause I was not finished with my studies.
About friends.
It is almost as hard to make friends in Switzerland as it is in Finland.

I was never satisfied with Switzerland since I was a teenager, and I always thought the problem is me. But as I entered a students house with hundreds of foreign people, I felt more home than among Swiss - and also among Finns, means the friends of my boyfriend in Finland and also finnish students living for few month here.
That's why I decided to move to Finland with him, to find out whether I will maybe find some place I can be more myself and breathe.
I am not moving because my boyfriend wants it so much, because for him it would be also okay to move to some other country, we considered e.g. Thailand or South America. But I said I want to find out first if I can live in Finland and we can still go somewhere else later.
And - I decided to move before I got my current job. It was always clear that I won’t stay long.

**Sponsor:**

PeterF · Post by **PeterF** » Wed Jul 07, 2004 3:07 pm

nisha_n6 wrote:
I have to explain something: He came to Switzerland because of me.

It is almost as hard to make friends in Switzerland as it is in Finland.

I felt more home than among Swiss - and also among Finns, means the friends of my boyfriend in Finland and also finnish students living for few month here.

Daah.. you are almost a Finn..you will not have any problems..come on jump into the lake join the rest of us...before the water freezes over..When you coming by the way..?

nisha_n6 · Post by **nisha_n6** » Wed Jul 07, 2004 3:12 pm

PeterF wrote: Daah.. you are almost a Finn..you will not have any problems..come on jump into the lake join the rest of us...before the water freezes over..When you coming by the way..?

guess in january or february:)

by the way: are all of you already in Finland?

PeterF · Post by **PeterF** » Wed Jul 07, 2004 3:23 pm

nisha_n6 wrote:
by the way: are all of you already in Finland?

Of those in this thread..Dusty sort of..he lives now in Estonia but it is only 20 minute by helicopter..and less than 2 hours by fast boat and he is back here yet again and once more growling about the price of beer.
All the rest...only one I am not sure of is ACWAN..but the others yep they are all known to be present and correct...Suomessa.
Jan Feb...oh boy ..no lake jumping then...minus 20C if you can break through 1 meter of ice...

Majava · Post by **Majava** » Wed Jul 07, 2004 3:26 pm

nisha_n6 wrote:by the way: are all of you already in Finland?

I am. Many others as well. Dusty was.

And sure, we like to warn and scare you, but you're very welcome here! If things don't work out, you won't be met with "we told you so", even though we told you so

, we have 'Tea & Sympathy in case that happens!

acwan · Post by **acwan** » Wed Jul 07, 2004 3:54 pm

PeterF wrote:
nisha_n6 wrote:
by the way: are all of you already in Finland?
Of those in this thread..Dusty sort of..he lives now in Estonia but it is only 20 minute by helicopter..and less than 2 hours by fast boat and he is back here yet again and once more growling about the price of beer.
All the rest...only one I am not sure of is ACWAN..but the others yep they are all known to be present and correct...Suomessa.
Jan Feb...oh boy ..no lake jumping then...minus 20C if you can break through 1 meter of ice...

Yeppums, I'm here - although it's hard for me to believe it right now with the sun shining outside my window and all. Well, Nisha if you're coming in Jan-Feb, then you're coming at the best time to learn about Finland and its time-honored traditions (and at least there won't be any renovations being done then).

Like I said before, I wish you the best. Everybody's situation is different so if you've made the decision that coming here is the right choice knowing full well the pluses and minuses of living here as a foreigner, then hats off to you. I agree that the people are nice once you get to know them but there are a lot of other factors to contend with as well and some of them may be beyond your control. Then it simply comes back to priorities in the end doesn't it?

So welcome! Hope I haven't upset you, but if I do sound negative, it's more from my own experience and those of other foreigners I know who live here. And like Majava says there's always "Tea and Sympathy" and the . community to help you get through it.

Cheers.

nisha_n6 · Post by **nisha_n6** » Wed Jul 07, 2004 4:08 pm

thanks for the welcome

and it's never false to think about it - if I am really doing the right thing...

no risk no fun..

Caroline · Post by **Caroline** » Fri Jul 16, 2004 9:52 am

acwan wrote:From the stories I've heard, I think that part of the problem is that Finnish partners can be quite selfish and unaware (and even unsympathetic at times) to what they are putting their partners through when bringing them back to Finland because being a foreigner in Finland can be incredibly challenging even by European standards. And I don't think it's really a language issue. Rather, I attribute it to the closed society with its lack of transparency, xenophobia, and the heavily taxed, socialist system, which while it supports the weak and the needy, can really hamper the able and hard working. I wonder if it's even this bad in the other Scandinavian countries.

But what it really makes me wonder is why these Finns have such a difficult time staying away. Is it for the same reasons that foreigners find it so difficult to stay in Finland? Does the predictability, homogeneity (and perhaps the mediocrity as was mentioned in another thread?) - somehow make it much easier to be a native Finn in Finland than say in the UK or Switzerland or...?

I guess what I am incredulous about is, is it really simply the office politics and the fact that he has no Finnish friends in Switzerland that is driving Nisha's SO out of Switz. or is it the ATTRACTION of having Finnish friends and a country with a system he can relate to that is pulling him to FIN? Of course, I can't say since I am not walking in his shoes, but how insurmountable are the problems he is facing really?

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u ... ries_col_1

Switzerland comes 2 places ahead of Finland. Whether or not you take these kinds of studies to heart, it is probably worth mentioning that your expectations of Finland will likely affect how you end up feeling if you move here and then have to or want to leave eventually. Are you interested in Finland only because your partner is Finnish? Are you prepared for the fact that you might not like it here? If you come here expecting to want to stay for the rest of your life and then begin to dislike it here, that can be a really devastating feeling....it has already happened to some of us here.

I was never satisfied with Switzerland since I was a teenager

One thing though- I'm not sure if this makes any adjustment certain either. I felt exactly the same way when I left my home country (USA), and now that I've been living abroad, I miss home more than I ever thought possible, and I look forward to moving back there eventually.

Best of luck in whatever happens- I'm sorry that some of these posts haven't been the most positive, but it's those with experience who can advise best, and some of us have just been here too long

dusty_bin · Post by **dusty_bin** » Sat Jul 17, 2004 5:24 pm

Just got back from Helsinki.

Eeeek!

I was in Kappelli, they were charging over 5 Euro for a slice of chocolate cake!

WOW!

Mind you, if it were not for American Lawyers and their leatherskinned wives who had blown in on the Holland America liner then there would not have been many people doing anything other than drinking beer!

Is there any way to justify 40 cents for a SINGLE Fazer Domino biscuit?

I went in search of Marmite. Contrary to reports Stockmann had none, but the place in the subway at the railway station had some. I nearly laughed! 8.90 Euro for a SMALL jar.

Back home again. 2 Euro taxi fare back home and all is well with the world!

Anyone coming to FInland for what they think is love should (as well as getting a job here before making the committment) come and check the standard of living they will be able to maintain over here, because frankly, given the state of wages and prices in Finland, there are an awful lot of people who can not afford to live at all well, even though they have what are laughingly called 'good jobs'!

Hank W. · Post by **Hank W.** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 8:54 am

Go to Norway next time for a price check.

nisha_n6 · Post by **nisha_n6** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 9:37 am

dusty_bin wrote: Anyone coming to FInland for what they think is love should (as well as getting a job here before making the committment) come and check the standard of living they will be able to maintain over here, because frankly, given the state of wages and prices in Finland, there are an awful lot of people who can not afford to live at all well, even though they have what are laughingly called 'good jobs'!

Hey, most of you are sooo negative, really.. Have to say that now.
Are you all so frustrated to live in Finland and just waiting to go back to your country of origin ?
I know many foreigners here in Switzerland, which always complain about Switzerland, how bad it is here (exactly the opposite: you earn too much !! all counts is status and money in the end - social competence is often missing)
and.. they just complain and do nothing about it, just stay here .. some of them for 30 years and more..
I don't want to go to Finland already thinking in advance how difficult it will be, how bad it is to live there and how little you earn - I have other values than money (have been living with very little here for a long time as student !! and believe me: it is much more expensive in Switzerland than in Finland)

Had just to tell that !

I will go with an open mind there…
.. and: nobody is forced to stay in Finland .. I (and you) can also leave again

luddite · Post by **luddite** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 9:52 am

nisha_n6 wrote:Hey, most of you are sooo negative, really.. Have to say that now.
Are you all so frustrated to live in Finland and just waiting to go back to your country of origin ?
I know many foreigners here in Switzerland, which always complain about Switzerland, how bad it is here (exactly the opposite: you earn too much !! all counts is status and money in the end - social competence is often missing)
and.. they just complain and do nothing about it, just stay here .. some of them for 30 years and more..
I don't want to go to Finland already thinking in advance how difficult it will be, how bad it is to live there and how little you earn - I have other values than money (have been living with very little here for a long time as student !! and believe me: it is much more expensive in Switzerland than in Finland)

Had just to tell that !

I will go with an open mind there…
.. and: nobody is forced to stay in Finland .. I (and you) can also leave again

nisha_n6. Dont let them get you down nisha_n6, it can be moaning bastard central on here at times

Like you say Finland isn't Guantanamo, people should vote with their feet if they dont like it, at least Dusty did do that, dunno what the others excuses are though

They just like moaning I reckon

dusty_bin · Post by **dusty_bin** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 10:44 am

Look, if you want to read feather up the arse, butterflies and flowers stuff about changing the country in which you live, then there are places to go where such pablum is freely available.

I liked Finland, enjoyed my time there immensely and miss some the friends I left behind very much. But what I wrote above is true! It is almost certainly true for almost everybody who moves to Finland from another advanced economy who has actually had a professional career, before making the move. (expectations and standards seem to be lower among the those who are students, used to being paupers, I guess.)

If you do NOT come to Finland thinking how hard it will be then you will come with the WRONG attitude and the outcome is likely to be poor. Changing coutries is always hard in one way or another.

You are not forced to be in Finland except that this is the price of maintaining your relationship with your homesick blonde (the typical pattern!)

I wonder how long the Luddite will remain when he has finished being a student?

daive · Post by **daive** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 10:50 am

Yeah, well Dusty keeps reminding us on a very regular basis how damn good Estonia is, well, good for you, hope you live it up there and save a fortune. I personally if I didn't want to live in Finland certainly wouldn't choose Estonia, why should I, just to be close to Finland, piffle. I moved here to be with my other half, if I didn't like it here I think I would go and live in the South of France, cheap there too. And Dusty, life is not just about getting a two euro taxi or saving 3euros on a piece of chocolate cake. I enjoy it here, work hard and get the salary to be able to afford the 5euro piece of chocolate cake, things only seem expensive from your perspective where things are cheaper in Estonia. An personally if you choose to eat in the trendy places where all the tourists and suits hang out, then be prepared to pay the price.

I for one love the coffee and cake culture here, it is so nice to have some old world values and charm still left in society, like traditional tearooms and exquisite selections of creamcakes etc., sadly they are few and far betwen in the UK, so I don't mind paying the few extra cents for a treat, certainly beats a cup of seethrough coffee and a Ginsters pastie.

Sorry Dusty, not picking on you, just sick and tired of the constant Estonia is better thing.

luddite · Post by **luddite** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 10:55 am

dusty_bin wrote:I wonder how long the Luddite will remain when he has finished being a student?

Who knows Dusty

I like to think I'd stick about for a while at least mate.

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