Getting a moroccan into Finland?

[nomad_alien]

Sorry if we (foreigners) seem so difficult, but we have seen this all before....too many times.
"Naive Finnish girl meets middle eastern man, marry him because he has no job skills to get into the country, once here everything falls apart".
Sure, we don't know this guy, he could be the exception....but the statistics is against him. I'm also pretty sure you have thought about this very carefully and are aware of all these issues, so this is the advice I would give as a foreigner:
DON'T live in nowheremäki with the new guy, I will guarantee you it won't last! Try one of the major cities....especially Helsinki.
Get him into University or get him to study something, otherwise he will be another unemployed foreigner and life will get VERY hard, even if he have mastered the language.
Yes, it's not easy, government will give you a VERY hard time....because they know the statistics. Not to discriminate or anything, but being from Morocco DOES count against him, regardless of the pretty white faces at the ministery tellling you otherwise!

What worries me is that you say this is still "fresh"...maybe you need to give a long distance relationship some time and see his commitment. You also said he has already tried with a norwegian girl, so clearly his priority is to get out of his country....BIG RED FLAG! Hank is right and I have seen it many times, there is a BIG culture difference, once he is here and reality hits him where woman has equal rights and a woman maybe have to support him....it goes against everyhting in his culture, so beware, YOU might be aware of it but he might not, right now he is thinking of only ONE thing....getting out of Morocco!

In the end it's your desicion, this guy could be genuine, not all Moroccans are like that, I agree, butr like I said....it's all in the statistics.
Good luck....and listen to Hank, he is alwasy good to play devils advocate, don't get mad at him, just keep an open mind, he's trying to help

[EP]

Start being really enthusiastic of moving to Morocco yourself and see if he loves you so much any more

Before all this planning you should really do what Hank says. And not just plan moving into Morocco, but actually going there. Apply to Finnmatkat or other travel agent´s guide course, and then tell that your number one country is Morocco.

How about telling him that you want to test live Morocco?

How many of those do-nothing-but-sit-in-this-café are there in downstairs of Forum?

[sorry, it's just me]

Yeah, I know his right and I know his just trying to help.
I just have a sense of humor noone seems to understand...

Like I said, I hate big cities. If I moved to Morocco I'd be living in Casablanca... I "guess" It's "a bit" bigger than Helsinki and already Helsinki ticks me off. But I guess I could try it. Except of course I would need to finish my studies first if I want to get a decent job someday...

But as I am already familiar with some parts of Oulu and there are more schools etc. I could imagine living there...

Like I said it was "fresh" and I'm in no particular hurry with it, I can test him out from just being over here. He knows I'm nice but he'll learn I'm not stupid and that when it comes to big decisions I can be be a real bitch . so to speak...

And I'll have plenty of time to tell him about life over here and see what he thinks... If he could get the visitors visa and come here to check the weather in the winter would be great because he seems to blame it for every bad thing in Finland.

And of course I'll ask him what he has studied there and could he study something here. What kind of a job he could do... There are a lot of questions still for me to ask. Difficulty is the length of our conversations is about an hour a day if the connections work...

It's going to take time to get to know him better and the first impression may turn out to be the wrong one. Though I still want to believe that it could work but it needs a lot of work but behind it. I know I'm still naive little finnish girl but live and learn. I learn nothing by just sitting here at home playing with my computer waiting for my life to slip away.

Anyway, I can have plenty off these kinds of talks with my family and friends. All I wanted to know were the legal parts I don't quite get...

[Hank W.]

Don't take a Summer Man!

Many women take a man for summer entertainment, but then don't understand that summer men need constant care. "Oh, the bloke will fend for himself" they think, and leave the summer man alone at home bored and without work. But the summer man does not belong to the Finnish nature, most of these summer men suffer in the winter and or freeze to death. Those few summer men that survive a Finnish winter become alcoholics and will grow wild and unruly. The man needs a nice permanent home. It can live 15-20 years. All these years you need to tend daily as if you would a dog. It must be given nourishing meals, and taken to the doctor if it becomes sick. As the man is a carnivore, feeding it will cost as much as a mid-sized dog. If you are not sure you can not provide such an environment - don't take a summer man!

Finnish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Men

[Hank W.]

Actually I am from nowheremäki and I already moved back here from another nowheremäki...

And you expect the Moroccan prince to survive exactly how long with the local teini-DX amis, who will beat up a "city boy" for "stealing our women", let alone someone with a tan and "speaking tongues"... I'd give him about 5 minutes in the sausage stand queue even in Oulu... Nowheremäki "competition" rules. Needs to be a Finn to understand the nuances, but its the same in any small village all around the world.

He would need to bring a Moroccan princess with to be sacrificed to the native bloodthirsty gods hyttynen and itikka

[sorry, it's just me]

summer man...
You know I first talked to him in the winter time and it's winter again now.
He's religion denies him alcohol and I already have a dog too...

There are other foreigners here so I doubt anyone would beat him up because they haven't touched the other ones... "stealing their women" they can blame them selves for not trying to get me first.

I'll spray your "native gods" and the rest I'll sguash with my hands...
And all they do is take a little blood they need to reproduce.
Poor little fellas...

[chriscross]

what are the reasons he wants to get out of morroco so much


mafia?
drug baron?
just wants to be a EU citizen??



maybe all negitive questions,,but you have to ask yourself these questions

and if you allready have,,what answers did you come up with

love can be blinding,,,eg you will think of all positive answers for him yourself


you have to think of both negitive and positive answers !

[Mark I.]

You'd better make a leap of faith and listen your wise virtual uncles on this forum. Saves you from a lot of trouble.

....BIG RED FLAG!

[greenhorn]

Won't there be any religious incompatibility as well ?

[Paul_D]

Won't there be any religious incompatibility as well ?

Err, I think differences of religions are not incompatible. But differences of cultures are. Many jews, muslims, boudhists, hinduists, catholics, atheists, etc. can live happily in Finland, and practice their religion. And the same in Morocco : people of any religion/belief can be happy there, while being faithful to their religion. Religion is not a good excuse for disliking the country.

Now, if someone wants the chariah to be the common ground of the laws in Finland, or if someone wants that the Holy Cows are not killed/eaten anymore in finland, or if someone wants that kissing/nudity to be forbidden in public, or if someone wants that everybody becomes vegetarian or stops drinking alcohol, that's the cultural problem of people who can't understand that a nation can be tolerant to many religions/beliefs, and not only to theirs. Or that's the problem of people who want their religion/beliefs to be the one and only on earth.

But, hey, please note that european people are like other people, and many of them wish that their value are the ones and only on earth They believe that other people do some "bad" things, when it comes to care of human rights, democracy, freedom of speech, food being forbidden only if science gives a solid ground for it, equality of man and woman, religion as a personal/public choice, etc.

/Paul

[greenhorn]

Hmm, nice reply Paul. So my question should be "Won't there be any cultural incompatability ?"

You have brilliantly summed up what I wanted to say.

[Awa]

And of course I'll ask him what he has studied there

Well, you certainly don´t know very much about him.

[nomad_alien]

I lived nin Oulu for 2 years, my skin is as white as snow, but yet, every time I went out and it gets late and the people are all "happy" I would quickly be picked out as a "paska ulkomalaainen" (It was the first words I learned in Finland, even before "per*ele"!
Anyhow, there were many a times that drunk Finnish guys wanted to pick a fight with me because I'm "stealing their woman" and I'm a fairly big guy and still it didn't stop them. Your friend will have a MUCH harder time blending in.

If you are serious, please consider Helsinki, its so much more foreigner friendly. I think it's a small price you have to pay if you don't want to go there and want to "drag" him over here.

[Awa]

"Won't there be any cultural incompatability ?"

Yes, according to statistics there will be a big cultural incompatability.

"Eniten suomalaisnaiset rakastuvat britteihin, joiden kanssa liitot myös kestävät parhaiten. Näillä naisilla on usein myös hyvä koulutus. Koulutetuimmat miehet taas löytävät vaimon kiinalaisista, ehkä työmatkoillaan.
Neuvostoliiton romahdettua suomalaismiesten avioliitot ulkomaalaisten kanssa ovat kolminkertaistuneet. Eniten he menevät naimisiin virolaisten, thaimaalaisten ja entisen Neuvostoliiton alueen naisten kanssa. Liittojen kestoennuste on paljon normaalia heikompi, mutta silti verrattomasti parempi kuin suomalaisnaisella, joka menee naimisiin turkkilaisen tai marokkolaisen kanssa. Näillä naisilla on myös usein alhainen koulutustaso. Liitto hajoaa yli seitsemän kertaa niin usein kuin suomalaisen kanssa solmittu. Ulkomaalaisen kanssa avioituneista miehistä vähäisin koulutus on thaimaalaisnaisten puolisoilla. Eronneisuus on heidän liitoissaan suuri.

Suomalaisen yhteiselo kestää tilastojen mukaan parhaiten länsimaalaisen kanssa. Niistä marokkolaismiehistä, jotka menivät 90-luvulla täällä naimisiin, suurin osa on jo purkanut avioliittonsa."

To put that a little shorter: Most often well educated Finnish women fall in love with Brits. Those marriages also last best. Educated Finnish men find a Chinese wife.

But most often Finnish men marry women from Estonia, Thailand and former USSR. These marriages do not have a good prognosis, but even that prognosis is way better than in case when a Finnish woman marries a man from Turkey or Morocco. Those marriages fail seven times more often than a marriage between two Finns. Most of those Maroccan men who married a Finnish woman in 1990´s are now divorced.

[sinikettu]

Love is Blind...

She cant read the advice and hints.

I will be more direct;

I would be permanently pissed if I could have pint for every Finnish/Swedish girl/woman who has brought a "North African" home as a result of summer vacation/romance..
Only for him to disappear (usualy to France) as soon he has his " I am married to an EU citizen bit of paper".
France has blocked the front door, now there are guides on the www on how and where to find the back door.