Getting a moroccan into Finland?

[Hank W.]

Well, not *all* disappear to France, as I know a few, even who have stayed with their crazy woman. However I see also single mothers with children in prams and ask where did Aladdin go, and its the magic AirFrance carpet that took Aladdin, and they are left with the kids and the genie in the bottle. What they then sob in the pub on their night out when mom has come to take care of the kids. And I quote my favorite prophet Ezekiel to them at 23:20

[sorry, it's just me]

Yes, yes, I know all of this already.
So I asked about his education, though the messenger tried hard not to work today, but apparently he (*tries to remember) well it had something to do with law...

"brought back home" from vacation... I've never been outside of nordic countries...

I don't know why he wants to get out of moro. He seems to love he's country. I did say to him that it wasn't very likely that he'd find a job from here...

I don't know what other people treat foreigners like but I'm sure that behaviour of others isn't that much of a problem. It could happen anywhere in the world and to anyone outside of their home country.

Well love is blind, but I'm not sure if I'm "in love" but I do really like him.
And if you really must know, I want kids, but I'm not planning on having them before I am sure he won't leave me...

And as for the cultural or religious sides, I don't think they are a problem if we both say the truth. Every person is different and every relationship have their problems. Only time will tell if the people are really commited to each other to work the problems out... But don't take my word for it, it's just me...

It is not uncommon for women to fall in love with a person that seems perfect (to everyone else too) and after they get married that person turns out to be a monster (as in a drunken-beat-the-crap-out-of-your-wife-kind). and they might have had a very similar backgrounds.

I'm just trying to point out that even though something is uncommon doesn't mean it can't happen and even if something is very common doesn't mean that it always happens...

Anyways, Anyone even considering to answer the questions I asked?
The finnish law that I read and the advices you have been giving to people on this forum don't seem to match...

[Hank W.]

So you are "in love" with a person you have never met in real life?

Hey, I'm a 14 year old girl from California, wanna chat?

[RA]

I'm sorry, but have you met him in the flesh?

You've never been out of the Nordic countries and then you'd go all the way to Morocco, marry the bloke and bring him back to Finland? Even though you're not sure you 'love' him, only like him?

And then after you're really sure he'd never leave you then you'd have kids with him?

I suppose you've never considered the possibility that even people who been together +20 years and have had kids could still spilt up?

Anyhoos, to try and answer your question..... you could marry him, but even then he might still have to wait in Morocco for his papers, it's not that automatic.

[Mark I.]

I don't want to be rude, but your story strikes like a text book example of unsuccessfull, short and miserable "relationship". You talk about love. Nice words over messanger, eh? You are a young (20?) girl from countryside, never been abroad, or even in bigger cities a lot? In other words, he would be the first foreigner you're trying to get to know?

Wake up to reality, for your own good.

If you are so hard headed that you think we don't know what we're talking about, you can do (as Hank said) a real test by going to Morocco to live with him, for say 6 months. After that, I'll say by all means, get married and bring him to Finland.

[sorry, it's just me]

like the nick says: sorry, it's just me.
I don't think you would understand me. You are not me.
And just because I haven't seen him in "flesh" doesn't mean there are no webcameras in Finland or Morocco...
Yeah, yeah. I don't know him that well yet. You'd think I didn't have to say this all over again but I will get to know him first. You think I could live with him in Morocco as his girlfriend? You speak about the cultural difference... You obviously don't know anything about it...
I'm beginning to think you are avoiding my real questions. I never asked if I was doing the right thing. I never said it was already as good as done. You'd think if I'm all that you think I am that if I go to Morocco, I'll end up marrying him anyway and pregnant even if we were not moving to Finland... I'd think I'd be more screwed then, but if that's what you want me to do... Then I can say to my mum it was all your idea, not mine.

And besides who is to say what it is to be "in love". I don't. I might as well be as I don't know what that is... I'm trying to be careful here and all you do is trying to make me see your point of view which I have also repeatedly said that I understand and am well aware off.

Can't you people see there are no absolutes in this world? All you can do is what you think is the right thing. That's fine but for someone else that one is not the right one. We all are different and every single situation is different. They might sound similar. Stories of some naive young girl marrying some sweet talking north african and ending up with a broken heart... There are always different people behind them. Don't treat them the same.

I could do this all night, but I hate writing my idealistic crap to people who really don't give a damn.

[Hank W.]

Maybe you should just grow up.

[sorry, it's just me]

growing up isn't possible without life experience...

[superiorinferior]

growing up isn't possible without life experience...

Every Moroccan man that I've met in Finland pretty much didn't like living here.

"It's too cold."
"The women are too slutty (independent)."
"Winter is awful."
"Someday I will go home when I have enough money."
"Do you have any money I could borrow?"
"Saatana."
"KELA cut my payments off."
"I tried to see my son, but my ex-wife changed plans again."
"Why do I stay? I stay to be near my son."
and on and on...

Is this the type of "experience" you'd like to be part of?

What are you thinking, Girl?

[Karibu]

As everybody in this world, you have to do your own decisions and live with them, whether they were good or bad. As long as you can accept that, you can do pretty well.

I suggest you do as somebody suggested here. Go in Morocco to see him and live with him more than two weeks. Six months or so should be enough, so you can see how he really is. You should find out on that time how serious he is with you. As you must know already, after the initial falling in love -phase is over and every day life comes, you must have made the decision to love him. When I say this, I mean that when there's a very bad fight or some big problem between you, you just grind your teeth together and say to yourself "I love this man, I won't give up no matter what". These situations occur in every long term relationship and the strength of the relationship is defined how you can carry out through these bad times.

Also, you need to take risks in your life as well, othervise you can't achieve anything worthwhile. I married a Chinese woman and I know that if I hadn't done it, I would have regretted all my life. I still don't know whether marriage will eventually end up good or bad (who knows before it actually ends?), but I am determined to my wife and dedicate my life on my family. Whatever my life will be, I know that I have made all the decisions by myself and I am willing to carry all the consequenes as well.

Just remember this: 50% marriages end up on divorce, even though nobody intends to divorce when they get married. Why it happens? Do people get married for wrong reasons? Do they not know each others well enough and after initial falling in love -phase is over, they won't bother to try?

Sorry if I sound negative, but I want to bring up the weight of this situation on your life. My advice is: Go there, learn to know him but don't marry him yet. If he loves you really, he will be patient. If he loves the residence permit more, you will know it too.

[Hank W.]

growing up isn't possible without life experience...

Yes, but of all the life experiences to choose from... get some job abroad for a while, go on a Erasmus student exchange... go to Israel on a kibbutz, shave the whales in the Faroes...

[greenhorn]

We do learn from mistakes, but we might not live that long to commit all the mistakes and learn from them. So sometimes we learn from other's mistakes as well.

[Hank W.]

So how is the walking on ice this year going?

[greenhorn]

So how is the walking on ice this year going?

Have learnt it haven't slipped even once this year *touchwood*

[sorry, it's just me]

Karibu, that's excatly what I'm thinking.
So, I guess I'll ask him about living there for a while.
But to go with my studies, I can't stay there that long and If I wont get my studies going smoothly enough I wont get the money to live with.
I'll ask him about it when I can talk to him again.
If we're both serious enough with this, we don't have to live in Finland.