Personal space defines the limits of flirting. If she would hug you or kiss you to the cheek, then you would be able to do the same. Too much sweet talk might be a bit boring for most of the Finnish women, it might been seen as a way to hide lack of knowlegde...So a bit of sweet talk and general knowlegde. depending on the girl, it can be history, movies or sports....
Get to know about the women's interests: if she likes ice-hockey, ask her to explain the rules:).
Question: How to behave in Finland?
Re: Question: How to behave in Finland?
Last edited by CatNip on Thu Mar 05, 2009 12:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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joanmanuel
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Re: Question: How to behave in Finland?
CatNip wrote:
Personal space defines the limits of flirting. If she would hug you or kiss you to the cheek, then you would be able to do the same. Too much sweet talk might be a bit boring for most of the Finnish women, it might been seen as a way to hide lack of knowlegde...So a bit of sweet talk and general knowlegde. depending on the girl, it can be history, movies or sports....
Get to know about the women's interests: if she likes ice-hockey, ask her to explain the rules:).
you rule!!! realy nice advice, I do not want to look a little "nerdie" to the Finnish girls, but I can see that they enjoy diverse topics
please any other advice will be appreciated, because I am really shy in these aspects
Re: Question: How to behave in Finland?
and some Pekkas in town get laid with simple "nyt vai heti?"joanmanuel wrote: you rule!!! realy nice advice, I do not want to look a little "nerdie" to the Finnish girls, but I can see that they enjoy diverse topics
please any other advice will be appreciated, because I am really shy in these aspects
at least so am i told 
Re: Question: How to behave in Finland?
Relax man. Finnish girls are quite easy going, in more than one way
As a foreign student you will quickly find other foreigns in the same situation and might even start hanging with other South-Americans, so they'll help and give you tips. I bet you'll hear different advice from them than what you've got in here
If you hang with SA students or in places where Latinos typically go you will find that some girls might expect you to act like you do at home, although very few expect or even tolerate the full act - a delicate balance to achieve.
About paying for drinks, as a student you're not expected to pay for anyone's drinks other than yours. Then again if you are the kind of person that enjoys getting drinks to your friends every so often out of the kindness of your heart there's not much of a harm in doing so, as long as you are not seeking her approval or expect anything in return. Just don't do it before you've know her [would you pay if she was a buddy of yours?] and have shared drinks before, I'd say.
As a foreign student you will quickly find other foreigns in the same situation and might even start hanging with other South-Americans, so they'll help and give you tips. I bet you'll hear different advice from them than what you've got in here
If you hang with SA students or in places where Latinos typically go you will find that some girls might expect you to act like you do at home, although very few expect or even tolerate the full act - a delicate balance to achieve.
About paying for drinks, as a student you're not expected to pay for anyone's drinks other than yours. Then again if you are the kind of person that enjoys getting drinks to your friends every so often out of the kindness of your heart there's not much of a harm in doing so, as long as you are not seeking her approval or expect anything in return. Just don't do it before you've know her [would you pay if she was a buddy of yours?] and have shared drinks before, I'd say.
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joanmanuel
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Re: Question: How to behave in Finland?
by the way, I saw that Finland has the most beautiful girls in the world; I remember that in the short time I was in Finland (two weeks at most) some girls were as beautiful as angels, but I was so freaking shy to dare to speak to one of them 
I have a little anecdote that I would like to share with you all, when I went to a bar with a south american friend that I contacted by email, he told me one advice of how to behave with the girls in a bar; I really not know if he was teasing me or if it was the true. I asked him how I should start a conversation with a girl, because I saw that a lot of them were in groups drinking, or dancing in that overcrowded place, and he told me: "do not worry, I will give you a quick advice, the only think that you should do is to go where all the girls are dancing, and dance behind of them, after that you could start a quick chat". For me, that sound ridiculous and also disrespectful, I thought that doing that will classified me as some kind of pervert (I know that in Peru we have some "intimal" way of dancing, but I did not suppose that it was going to be the case in Helsinki). So I did not follow his advice, eventhough I saw him doing that. I only sit near a group of ladies, but not annoying them, and them a strange lady starts to talk to me, she asked some stuff because she thought I were from Spain, also she told me that she dumped his boyfriend a few time ago, and so I asked her cellphone number. She gave it to me, so I could invite her a cup of coffee or other thing some other day, but I never called her, I got the feeling that maybe was a fake number (a common issue in Peru) and also I did not get a clue of what to do if I go out with her, mainly because she told me that we could be friends, but that she does not like to have a romantic relationship because of her last rupture.
I forget to tell you my friends, that after that day my friend was very pissed off with me, I think it was because his "seduction techniques" of "stay behind the girl dancing" did not worked at all, and he was alone all night long
I have a little anecdote that I would like to share with you all, when I went to a bar with a south american friend that I contacted by email, he told me one advice of how to behave with the girls in a bar; I really not know if he was teasing me or if it was the true. I asked him how I should start a conversation with a girl, because I saw that a lot of them were in groups drinking, or dancing in that overcrowded place, and he told me: "do not worry, I will give you a quick advice, the only think that you should do is to go where all the girls are dancing, and dance behind of them, after that you could start a quick chat". For me, that sound ridiculous and also disrespectful, I thought that doing that will classified me as some kind of pervert (I know that in Peru we have some "intimal" way of dancing, but I did not suppose that it was going to be the case in Helsinki). So I did not follow his advice, eventhough I saw him doing that. I only sit near a group of ladies, but not annoying them, and them a strange lady starts to talk to me, she asked some stuff because she thought I were from Spain, also she told me that she dumped his boyfriend a few time ago, and so I asked her cellphone number. She gave it to me, so I could invite her a cup of coffee or other thing some other day, but I never called her, I got the feeling that maybe was a fake number (a common issue in Peru) and also I did not get a clue of what to do if I go out with her, mainly because she told me that we could be friends, but that she does not like to have a romantic relationship because of her last rupture.
I forget to tell you my friends, that after that day my friend was very pissed off with me, I think it was because his "seduction techniques" of "stay behind the girl dancing" did not worked at all, and he was alone all night long
Re: Question: How to behave in Finland?
Really. The girl shows interest, gives you her number and even tells you the guidelines (friends). You could have just called her and asked her for a coffee. What do people having coffee usually do? They just chat. What do you do? Do you have brothers and sisters? What are the things you like to do? Same kind of chat you would have with a guy you are trying to get to know better.and also I did not get a clue of what to do if I go out with her, mainly because she told me that we could be friends
Re: Question: How to behave in Finland?
And what if the number would have been fake? You wouldn´t have lost anything.
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Pursuivant
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Re: Question: How to behave in Finland?
Ave María PurísimaReally. The girl shows interest, gives you her numberand also I did not get a clue of what to do if I go out with her, mainly because she told me that we could be friends
"By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something wicked this way comes."
Something wicked this way comes."
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joanmanuel
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Re: Question: How to behave in Finland?
Sin pecado concebidaPursuivant wrote:
Ave María Purísima
Dime tus pecados hijo mío (Priest: Tell me your sins my beloved son)
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joanmanuel
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Re: Question: How to behave in Finland?
By the way, I did not know that you also speak Spanish my friend, I only hope not to get too shy like a nerdy when a finland girls speaks to mePursuivant wrote:
Ave María Purísima
If that is the case I will finish like Beavis & Butthead, speaking all the time to get laid, but with no results
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joanmanuel
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Re: Question: How to behave in Finland?
Is it really true that when one speak in a formal way to a finnish citizen is better to go straight ahead to the point? and another question Do Finnish people have a good impression of latino american people? I write this because in ZA a lot of people think that we are only "trouble makers" or "drug dealers"
any comment?
any comment?
Re: Question: How to behave in Finland?
Your bigger issue as Latin American is that you are considered a gigolo. Since we live rather far away from your stomping grounds and Colombia, you are not equated with drug business except via American television series.
But for various Latin origin gigolos, those we have some experience with.
As for talking. It is more complicated than that. What Blubby here said is true to extent.
Finns prefer honesty, to a limit. What and where that limit is, depends on individual. Same with speaking. Straight to business tends to reduce waste of words. But again you have to know person AND topic and be able to adjust.
This is where you get to diplomacy part. You have to be careful until you know person better. Once you do, you have to temper honesty and bluntness with knowledge on what are sore issues for the second party and avoid being too brutal.
But for various Latin origin gigolos, those we have some experience with.
As for talking. It is more complicated than that. What Blubby here said is true to extent.
Finns prefer honesty, to a limit. What and where that limit is, depends on individual. Same with speaking. Straight to business tends to reduce waste of words. But again you have to know person AND topic and be able to adjust.
This is where you get to diplomacy part. You have to be careful until you know person better. Once you do, you have to temper honesty and bluntness with knowledge on what are sore issues for the second party and avoid being too brutal.