Ex wife breaking custody agreement

Rimi · Post by **Rimi** » Fri Oct 12, 2007 5:15 pm

Hi everyone. I have been lurking here for quite a while but this is my first post.

I have joint custody of my daughter where I keep her for about 3 days a week. Everything has been smooth for the most part until recently. Just today, my ex--who was supposed to meet me with my daughter--told me flat out that I will not have my daughter with me this weekend because she wants to take her out of town with her.

Normally, that wouldnt be such a big deal, but im angry because; 1. She never bothered to tell me ahead of time, and 2. I am traveling out of town next week and wanted to have my daughter with me this weekend because I wont see her the following weekend.

They have already left and im just furious. What can I do? Who can I call to make a complaint about this behavior? The child welfare services have already dealt with my ex because of her irresponsibility in the past, and now this! There must be some recourse for parents whose ex just arbitrarily decides to not follow the custody agreement.

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rinso · Post by **rinso** » Fri Oct 12, 2007 5:49 pm

There is not much you can "do" for this situation.
Best to build up an archive of this kind of incidents.
So report it to the child welfare service, but don't expect immediate action.

Rimi · Post by **Rimi** » Fri Oct 12, 2007 5:55 pm

Thanks.

So i guess the question now is, supposing that I keep notes of this kind of stuff over time--what would make the child welfare people know that it is true? Thank God, my ex is a terrible liar, but other than that, how do they know that what I document is true?

She has already had weekly visits by them for over a year because of previous behavior. Her own mother called about her and filled a complaint. They visited me once at my place this summer so they could finally meet the father (the responsible one that did 90% of the child care before the divorce!)

brendanuk · Post by **brendanuk** » Fri Oct 12, 2007 5:55 pm

I have been told the same thing, you will need to build up a record of obstructing your access to the child and then go to court to say your ex is not upholding the courts wishes re access.

Doesnt help with the practicalities of it, but thats the way it is for fathers

raamv · Post by **raamv** » Sat Oct 13, 2007 1:41 am

establish a contact there and let them know that you are taking notes..and call to inform them of the monthly notes..at leas you took notes and have some verbal verifications..
another thing is to do a videotape...with blank..no show at your place with date/timestamp/tv playing so they ll know that no one was there at the time TV was playing ....

Karibu · Post by **Karibu** » Mon Oct 15, 2007 10:21 am

Best thing is if you can have some Then "evidence", such as emails, messages in cellphones, etc. so she can't deny what happened. This just for precaution if she keeps doing this and tries to keep your daughter away from you. Next plan a contact method where you can have these evidences. For example, prefer messages instead of calling, try to have a witness (a friend) with you when you make the call, etc. All this so that she won't know, that is. Then it might be that if she knows you are recording things, she won't say/message a thing. Perhaps I'm paranoid?

Rimi · Post by **Rimi** » Mon Oct 15, 2007 7:51 pm

Good advice. And no, your not paranoid. Much worse has happened to people I know.

littlefrank · Post by **littlefrank** » Tue Oct 16, 2007 10:35 am

I know I keep harping on about 'family counselling' but it helps my ex and I sort things out, it is also useful when 'they' have a record of what's happening. If your ex won't go, at least you can say in court that you even tried to...

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