At what age do you leave a kid at home alone?

karen · Post by **karen** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 9:57 am

Ds has a fever, cough, and sore throat so I'm staying home from school with him today. Dh has two meetings and he's gone for the day. I have an exam in the morning and it's not looking good for ds to go to school tomorrow. Dh has a meeting before my exam is over and he thinks it would be fine to leave the 6yo at home alone. His exact words: "Eventually we're going to have to leave him alone." I don't think that day is when he's A) sick, and B) 6 years old!

At what age did you parents of older kids leave your kids at home alone? Anyone available to stay with a sick kid for a while in the morning?

**Sponsor:**

rob34 · Post by **rob34** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 10:15 am

karen · Post by **karen** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 11:07 am

Thanks, that's really helpful.

Rosamunda · Post by **Rosamunda** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 11:10 am

Well in the UK I think it is a criminal offence to leave a kid home alone if s/he is under 12 (?)....

Obviously no law like that here.

It depends on the maturity of the child of course. I don't think I left mine alone as young as six yrs. The eldest was already 9 yrs old when we moved here and I know I never left them home alone in Hungary, RSA, or France. So I guess we started leaving them when they were about 10 yrs old.... but I know for a fact that Finnish kids are left alone at a much younger age.

Goldie · Post by **Goldie** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 11:16 am

karen wrote:Ds has a fever, cough, and sore throat so I'm staying home from school with him today. Dh has two meetings and he's gone for the day. I have an exam in the morning and it's not looking good for ds to go to school tomorrow. Dh has a meeting before my exam is over and he thinks it would be fine to leave the 6yo at home alone. His exact words: "Eventually we're going to have to leave him alone." I don't think that day is when he's A) sick, and B) 6 years old!

At what age did you parents of older kids leave your kids at home alone? Anyone available to stay with a sick kid for a while in the morning?

I’m sorry, but a six year old is too young to stay home alone. And, I’m shocked that your husband would think it’s perfectly normal to leave your sick child to fend for himself!

Tiwaz · Post by **Tiwaz** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 11:23 am

If we are honest, little fever, sore throat and cough are not exactly life threathening conditions which require child to be observed 24 hours a day.

sinikettu · Post by **sinikettu** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 11:30 am

In my opinion you have three choices (assuming that your child is too ill to attend school).

1: You miss your exam. and look after your child.

2: Your husband is late for his meeting and he looks after the child until you get home.
(He could ask for a deputy to take his place in the meeting).

3: You find a child minder...

I would not leave a sick 6 year old alone..Especially if it is the first time that he has been left alone......just imagine the consequences if something went wrong.
Or he starts crying and a neighbour investigates....and no parents are with him.

richard berman · Post by **richard berman** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 11:35 am

Yes I am feeling the shock that me 6 year old will be home alone when she starts school in Aug this year, so we are letting her walk to places by herself as trainning, she will be alone for at least two hours mon to Fri, she will have to get ready etc by herself and I feel a little sick at the system, but there is nothing we can do. A sick 6 year old needs its mum and dad.

sinikala · Post by **sinikala** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 11:41 am

penelope wrote:Well in the UK I think it is a criminal offence to leave a kid home alone if s/he is under 12 (?).... Obviously no law like that here.

It depends on the maturity of the child of course. I don't think I left mine alone as young as six yrs. The eldest was already 9 yrs old when we moved here and I know I never left them home alone in Hungary, RSA, or France. So I guess we started leaving them when they were about 10 yrs old.... but I know for a fact that Finnish kids are left alone at a much younger age.

The UK law does not stipulate an age, but it is an offence to leave a child unsupervised when it puts the child at risk.

Maybe this link
http://www.nspcc.org.uk/HelpAndAdvice/P ... 35965.html

and this .pdf will be of use
http://www.nspcc.org.uk/helpandadvice/p ... f36243.pdf

FWIW, I would not leave a healthy 10 year old never mind a sick 6 year old at home on his/her own.

ScubaGirl · Post by **ScubaGirl** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 1:20 pm

I have been very surprised here to see parents letting very young children stay alone at home or even going outside alone. There is a 5 & 7 year old brother/sister pair that I often see alone at my local park with no parents or babysitter. I also know a lady who let's her 7 year old go to the library with his 6 & 7 year old friends. They have to cross a few busy streets on the way there too. Seems they have a sense of security here that is unheard of where a lot of us come from. I don't care how "safe" it is here, I can't imagine leaving my daughter alone before she's 10 yrs of age at the very least. I wasn't left alone until I was 12 (then again, we lived on the southside of Chicago up until that point

)

catfish78 · Post by **catfish78** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 1:51 pm

ScubaGirl wrote:I wasn't left alone until I was 12 (then again, we lived on the southside of Chicago up until that point )

If I lived there I wouldn't leave my girls outside or inside by themselves until at least 22 years old. Call me overprotective.

But here in Finland it seems very common for wee ones to go outside alone so I would imagine they are also left at home alone. I don't think I would be comfortable leaving the little ones home until, at the very least, 10 years old. It still amazes me when I am on the bus and see I child that can't be any older that 6 get on the bus by themselves. I have seen that many times and I still can't get over it. Finland is more trusting than all but one place I have lived (small town North Dakota, where everyone knew everyone and all your business).

EP · Post by EP » Mon Mar 10, 2008 3:43 pm

At what age did you parents of older kids leave your kids at home alone?

When they were eight.

Actually your husband has a right to stay at home with a sick child. It used to be two days, I am not sure how much it is nowadays. Anyway, enough to arrange a babysitter.

EP · Post by EP » Mon Mar 10, 2008 3:47 pm

Actually when they were seven, although I didn´t like it. Eight was just fine, big difference between 7 and 8. But we both had to leave for work before eight o´clock, and often the first graders school didn´t start till ten. So it was a couple of hours in the morning.

Mattlill2000 · Post by **Mattlill2000** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 3:57 pm

I think leaving a sick six year old home alone is too young. Its odd to think that soon he will wake himself up, have breakfast and go to school by himself. My kids did it and it worked fine. The biggest problem was that we never knew if they dressed properly for winter weather. The lure of dressing "cool".
I just remembered once when my son was 9 or 10 years old, he had a fever and was at that age that he could be left alone. He phoned at about 1:00 and said he wanted someone to come home and I went home immediatly. As soon as I got home he ran to the WC to throw up. He was scared to throw up alone, so was in pain before we arrived. After that we decided that even 9 or 10 is probably to young, but you can only do what you can do.

mrshourula · Post by **mrshourula** » Mon Mar 10, 2008 5:04 pm

Karen,

A few states in the US have specific laws (Illinois says no one under age 14; Maryland says no child 8 or under). Here is what Texas says (this is from the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services):

How old must a child be to be left home alone?

Answer: Supervision of children is basic to the prevention of harm. Adequate supervision means an adult caregiver is accountable for the child's care. Although, there is no Texas law that defines a specific age at which a child may be left home alone, there are several factors that should be taken into consideration when deciding how closely to supervise a child, including:

* the age, emotional maturity and capability of the child;
* layout and safety of the home, play area, or other setting;
* neighborhood circumstances, hazards, and risks;
* the child's ability to respond to illness, fire, weather, or other types of emergencies; and
* whether the child has a mental, physical, or medical disability.

The number of children left unsupervised, the accessibility to other responsible adults, the length of time or frequency with which the child is left alone, and the child's knowledge of the parent's whereabouts are additional relevant factors.

What is neglectful supervision?

Answer: Adults who are attentive and aware of children's behaviors are in the best position to safeguard their well-being. When children are not adequately supervised, it may be considered “neglectful supervision”, which means: Placing a child in or failing to remove a child from a situation that a reasonable person would realize requires judgment or actions beyond the child's level of maturity, physical condition or mental abilities and that results in bodily injury or substantial risk of immediate harm to the child.

Neglectful supervision is also defined as: Placing a child in or failing to remove the child from a situation in which the child would be exposed to a substantial risk of sexual conduct harmful to the child.
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No matter what the law, I don't think you are comfortable with idea and so shouldn't do it.

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