Finnish Christmas Cake

[mossman]

For those who missed it last year, remember a cake is not just for Christmas if the recipe is followed to the letter :-

Finnish Christmas Cake Recipe

Ingredients:

1 cup water

1 tsp baking soda

1 cup sugar

1 tsp salt

1 cup brown sugar

lemon juice

4 large eggs

nuts

1 bottle Vodka

2 cups of dried fruit

Method:

Sample the vodka to check quality

Take a large bowl, check the vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality – pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl

Add one teaspoon of sugar

Beat again

At this point it's best to make sure the vodka is shtill OK

Try another cup … just in case

Turn off the mixerer

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit

Pick fruit off floor

Mix on the turner

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver

Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity

Next, sift two cups of salt, Or something. Who giveshz a shtit

Check the vodka

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts

Add one table

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over

Don't forget to beat off the turner

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and kick the cat!


CHERRY MISTMAS!



Ok it's an old recipe but it still takes some beating.

[Bubba Elvis XIV]

I'll be spending X-mas alone this year so I might just try that one!