Divorce: separation agreement - is it useful at all?

RobF · Post by **RobF** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 12:30 pm

Hi.

I'm a Dutch citizen who just recently (6 months ago..) got married to a Finnish woman. We got married in Finland and have a 1 year old son together (born before marriage, both parents have joint custody).
My wife has now left me for another (married) man and as such I am looking into our (legal) options. I think I'm pretty fair and reasonable towards her and as such don't need official legal assistance in coming up with agreements between us both. (though it would probably be the wiser thing to do..)
We currently live in Ireland and plan to be here for the foreseeable future. My wife will be travelling back to Finland next week to file the divorce papers.

I have drawn up a separation agreement between us both, which I have made her read thoroughly, and we've both signed this separation agreement.
The separation agreement mainly describes child custody, financial support for the child, medical expenses, holidays, etcetera. We have no assets to speak of and I'll pick up the tab on most of our expenses (wedding costs that I'm still paying, child's medical insurance, etc). Our child will stay with me during the weeks and with her on the weekends.

How useful is this paper to me in Finland? I assumed that, as we've both given our clear conscent to this agreement, it would be readily accepted in Finland and even encouraged. Since, hey, presto! The parents managed to work it out themselves! Is this the case? Or should I look at getting a notary as witness while signing the document?
And should I attach these documents together with the divorce papers, or wait until we have our chat with the social welfare officer?

The agreement also describes what happens to physical child custody when one of us leaves the country we live in permanently. My wife is now 3 weeks with another married man, and "loves him dearly", that she's even speaking of moving to Italy with him... so I am kinda afraid of the future and want to ensure we get the best possible solution for our child.

**Sponsor:**

Lisa 15 · Post by **Lisa 15** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 12:39 pm

Can't help you but you got my sympathy

rinso · Post by **rinso** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 1:39 pm

If the arrangements in the agreement fulfil the minimum requirements of the Finnish system, it can be accepted and made official.
Problems might arise if the Irish system requires a different agreement.
But as everything is reasonable for both parties and the child, it should be easy.

RobF · Post by **RobF** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 1:45 pm

rinso wrote:If the arrangements in the agreement fulfil the minimum requirements of the Finnish system, it can be accepted and made official.

I assume I'll just attach (a Finnish version of) them to the divorce papers and hope for the best then?

Problems might arise if the Irish system requires a different agreement.
But as everything is reasonable for both parties and the child, it should be easy.

Luckily, no. We're not even officially registered yet in Ireland. Heck, the ink on our marriage certificate hasn't even dried yet, so it's all handled in Finland now.

I just couldn't find any reference to separation agreements in Finland and wondered if they were at all common.
But it seems like it shouldn't be a problem for them to be properly recognized, then.

I've uploaded a sample of the separation agreement: click

Lisa 15 wrote:Can't help you but you got my sympathy

Kiitos. Such is life. I wish it were different, I wish I could change her mind, but hey, you can't force someone to stay with you .. even when you're married, move between 4 different countries for them, have a child and just wish him/her would realize.
(I offered a mediator, but this was naturally turned down..)

rinso · Post by **rinso** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 2:49 pm

I just couldn't find any reference to separation agreements in Finland

Basic idea:
- joined assets are divided equally (if there in no other agreement)
- parents have joined custody, child stays with mother, unless both agree otherwise.
- visiting rights (every other weekend and every other holiday)
- child support (based on local situation and age of child, in Finland minimum around €180,-/month)
- for trips outside the country of residence, both parents must agree.

RobF · Post by **RobF** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 3:07 pm

rinso wrote:
I just couldn't find any reference to separation agreements in Finland
Basic idea:
- joined assets are divided equally (if there in no other agreement)
- parents have joined custody, child stays with mother, unless both agree otherwise.
- visiting rights (every other weekend and every other holiday)
- child support (based on local situation and age of child, in Finland minimum around €180,-/month)
- for trips outside the country of residence, both parents must agree.

Okay. Looks like I've got all that covered (and a whole lot more).
The Marriage Act (Finlex) didn't give me much info on this, so thanks for posting that.

Rosamunda · Post by **Rosamunda** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 3:52 pm

My 2 cents worth...

I think you should agree on what would happen in the eventuality that either one of you chooses to reside permanently in another country. The current custody agreement would not be practical if one of you is in Ireland and the other in Italy. Also, if you are not officially resident in Ireland then I am not sure what the courts would consider to be the child's habitual place of residence. Is it Finland or Ireland? IIRC The Hague Convention makes some stipulations about removing children from their habitual place of residence.

TrishPaakkonen · Post by **TrishPaakkonen** » Sat Apr 03, 2010 8:10 am

Can she even file for divorce in Finland? I thought that legally one of the 2 parties must live here for a given amount of time prior to filing for divorce in Finland?

Tiwaz · Post by **Tiwaz** » Wed Apr 07, 2010 10:27 am

TrishPaakkonen wrote:Can she even file for divorce in Finland? I thought that legally one of the 2 parties must live here for a given amount of time prior to filing for divorce in Finland?

Considering she has valid citizenship and we are speaking of EU it could be possible.

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