Is not it strange?

Hank W. · Post by **Hank W.** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:40 am

kristiinafin wrote: i feel bad that i even asked cause usually i never ask for anything.

I help before I am asked. Saves time and energy.

**Sponsor:**

kristiinafin · Post by **kristiinafin** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:42 am

the same do I! But not him i think.
everything started 4 days ago when i sent him sms and said: "hello dear, you offered me help and.. im moving after 20 days, but till now you didnt ask me if i need any help... now i need and can i ask you for favor?" "yes sweety, anything you want"... here we are...

sammy · Post by **sammy** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:44 am

Vallu wrote:
kristiinafin wrote: at the same time when im in helsinki he calls me every one hour asking where, with whom i am and what im doing.
no discos, no going out with out him... thats how he wants. so i dont think he is thinking im wrong person.
he just doesnt want to take responsibility but wants to control.
Kristiinafin........but is he really sane? I mean, how can somebody behave that way..... he claims he cares for you, he calls you all the time but....he is not ready to help you even a bit, after you moved to a strange country..... I am speachless.....and once more, I am on your side!

The world is full of manipulative people -men and women- who think that they can both keep the cake and eat it. Sorry to say so, without knowing his motives better, but this guy sounds like a prime example of that breed.

In this situation I can't think of any other advice than reminding yourself that you deserve better & firmly keeping him at a distance. Difficult as it may be -because normal people do not usually like to be unfriendly- you might consider not answering his calls.

gajonga · Post by **gajonga** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:47 am

maybe he wants you to be more independent?
</devilsadvocate>

Vallu · Post by **Vallu** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:47 am

sammy wrote: you might consider not answering his calls.

I definetly advice the same!

Vallu · Post by **Vallu** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:49 am

gajonga wrote:maybe he wants you to be more independent?

Are you serious? Please! I think she is already independent enough! She just needed a little NORMAL help in that kind of situation!

sammy · Post by **sammy** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:55 am

gajonga wrote:maybe he wants you to be more independent?
</devilsadvocate>

Maybe, but as far as I know (based on what's been told above) there's no end to what this guy wants for himself.

I'd say it's actually time for kristiinafin to provide this guy with a hefty dose of "independence" - and slam some doors into his face.

Hank W. · Post by **Hank W.** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 11:07 am

kristiinafin wrote:Mr Right

MR. HAIRY
Why am I Mr. Hairy?

JOE
Because you're a hippie, all right?

sammy · Post by **sammy** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 11:13 am

Hank W. wrote:

The Return of Kalmanuppi

Hank W. · Post by **Hank W.** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 11:15 am

I'm getting the van welded and do a little more paintjob

Then you'll see a Kalmanuppi

kristiinafin · Post by **kristiinafin** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 12:24 pm

Hank! you are very nice and funny!
Vallu: yes im speechless too...
I was all those years independent. I went to work to the bank when i was 19 and still im here and i get my own salary, i pay my bills by myself and support my mother too. Im independent long time ago.
I didnt want money or anything from him. its just now i needed little support, moral or emotional and little help (not even in money cause i would not come if i was not able to pay all expenses myself, i needed him to get the keays and help with advice.).
Now in my heart the door is closed for him.
thats for sure.
pitty, cause i really loved him for him, not for his money.
i wonder sometimes is not it ironic: you move to other country to be closer to someone and when you move, thats when everything ends...
Good at least that i have a goal to study and get work and live my own life.
Before i didnt come to Helsinki only because i didnt want to sit at home and be feeded by him.
Now when im admitted to school, i can have good feeling.
dont own him anything.

sammy · Post by **sammy** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 12:28 pm

That's the spirit!

Vallu · Post by **Vallu** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 12:30 pm

kristiinafin wrote: i wonder sometimes is not it ironic: you move to other country to be closer to someone and when you move, thats when everything ends...
Good at least that i have a goal to study and get work and live my own life.
Before i didnt come to Helsinki only because i didnt want to sit at home and be feeded by him.
Now when im admitted to school, i can have good feeling.
dont own him anything.

Yes, it is ironic and sad too..... and this is what scares me, unluckily!
Your way of thinking is the right one for sure: I wouldn't like to join my Finnish boyfriend just for being home and be feeded by him....but so far, I think that at least the first months or even the first year I will be there with him, I must be home and maybe can't pay that many expenses.....
Hope I won't regreat moving there just for him!
Hold on: you are strong and already proved you are independent enough! He simply doesn't deserve you and maybe never really understood your way of being!

Hank W. · Post by **Hank W.** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 12:32 pm

kristiinafin wrote:only because i didnt want to sit at home and be feeded by him.

Vallu wrote: for sure: I wouldn't like to join my Finnish boyfriend just for being home and be feeded by him

So you aren't feedees, damn, I'm such a good cook

badger2 · Post by **badger2** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 12:48 pm

kristiinafin wrote:Hank! you are very nice and funny!
Vallu: yes im speechless too...
I was all those years independent. I went to work to the bank when i was 19 and still im here and i get my own salary, i pay my bills by myself and support my mother too. Im independent long time ago.
I didnt want money or anything from him. its just now i needed little support, moral or emotional and little help (not even in money cause i would not come if i was not able to pay all expenses myself, i needed him to get the keays and help with advice.).
Now in my heart the door is closed for him.
thats for sure.
pitty, cause i really loved him for him, not for his money.
i wonder sometimes is not it ironic: you move to other country to be closer to someone and when you move, thats when everything ends...
Good at least that i have a goal to study and get work and live my own life.
Before i didnt come to Helsinki only because i didnt want to sit at home and be feeded by him.
Now when im admitted to school, i can have good feeling.
dont own him anything.

do you like song of the china?

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