Tha history of a "kummilusikka" is an old one. A spoon takes food to the mouth, and a "kummilusikka" ensures that the child will have food all his/her life. And in old times the wealthier people gave silver spoons (nowadays everybody is wealthy enough to buy a silver spoon) because there was a belief that silver somehow protects from evil.
I suppose how hurtful the kummi-system is depends a lot from the family. I mean, how seriously people take things. Neither mine nor my husband´s relatives have never taken anything very seriously. For example we chose my husband´s youngest brother to be our son´s main godparent (sylikummi), but that guy has never in his life been in time anywhere. So of course by the time everything was ready, the main kummi was still somewhere between Tampere and Helsinki. Husband´s other brother took over, and the blushing, embarrased intended kummi rushed in 20 minutes later. Nobody was insulted.
"She calls herself kummi-täti (godmother-aunt)"
Well, godmother is kummitäti in Finnish, not kummiäiti.
Belief structure
Also wishing to avoid the same debate ....... but maybe the answer lies in the Book itself, many passers by that should/ could have helped but didn't whilst the one that was moved to help did so simply because he could do so ........ hasn't society moved on magnificently in 2000 years?sammy wrote: However, without wishing to whip up any discussion whether it makes "sense" to have religious beliefs or not .......
It may not make sense from a purely rational viewpoint but then again, if one only looks at things from that perspective then what sense would it make to help anyone except yourself?
Yes, that reminds me that my partner said after one of her sons was confirmed earlier this year that he was now able to get married.Hank W. wrote:
Well, it is more or less tradition. A confirmation school was traditionally seen as a step to "adulthood" - in the olden days one could only get married after going through that - nowadays its more or less a tradition and I guess the parents feel the kids benefit of the moral issues pondering.
You must be a confirmed member of the church in order to have a church wedding, but you can have a civil marriage (through maistraatti/register office) even if you are not confirmed, or do not belong to the church.Drekly wrote:Yes, that reminds me that my partner said after one of her sons was confirmed earlier this year that he was now able to get married.
Interesting stuff, many thanks all.
I glean from this that she would describe herself as "kummitäti" rather than "täti" but whether there is anything beyond the title I won't know until such a time as she's willing to talk to me. Possibly she'll want to talk when she returns from her sister's as she'll probably have to be the strong one in support right now and could well need my support when she has time to sit and think quietly. I won't push her of course beyond leting her know that I'm here for her if needed.
I glean from this that she would describe herself as "kummitäti" rather than "täti" but whether there is anything beyond the title I won't know until such a time as she's willing to talk to me. Possibly she'll want to talk when she returns from her sister's as she'll probably have to be the strong one in support right now and could well need my support when she has time to sit and think quietly. I won't push her of course beyond leting her know that I'm here for her if needed.
Belief Structure
Having become a godmother earlier this month for the first time (my boyfriend's sister's daughter), I did a search to see if this topic had already been discussed and to see what Finnish parents expect from the godparents of their son/daughter. I was interested to read the comments already posted.
When I was asked to be godmother, my boyfriend and I asked some of our Finnish friends in Helsinki what their views and experiences have been. One said that his brother had never asked him to be godfather to any of his children - which he thought was a bit strange. We suggested though that perhaps it was a good thing - no favourite, who gets extra money/presents or attention from their uncle. (I think this was the thinking of my boyfriend's sister in not asking him to be godfather - he didn't seem very upset.) Also, I would agree with previous posts that Finnish women seem to take the role of godmother seriously from what I have heard.
On another note, my boyfriend is godfather to his brother's daughter but has done little more than send birthday cards and the odd present. (Although his excuse for this is that we have lived outside of Finland for most of her life.)
I'd be interested in reading other comments from parents and what they expect or the experiences of other godparents so that I can be a great godmother (and not put my foot in it by not knowing any Finnish customs for later in my goddaughter's life!)
When I was asked to be godmother, my boyfriend and I asked some of our Finnish friends in Helsinki what their views and experiences have been. One said that his brother had never asked him to be godfather to any of his children - which he thought was a bit strange. We suggested though that perhaps it was a good thing - no favourite, who gets extra money/presents or attention from their uncle. (I think this was the thinking of my boyfriend's sister in not asking him to be godfather - he didn't seem very upset.) Also, I would agree with previous posts that Finnish women seem to take the role of godmother seriously from what I have heard.
On another note, my boyfriend is godfather to his brother's daughter but has done little more than send birthday cards and the odd present. (Although his excuse for this is that we have lived outside of Finland for most of her life.)
I'd be interested in reading other comments from parents and what they expect or the experiences of other godparents so that I can be a great godmother (and not put my foot in it by not knowing any Finnish customs for later in my goddaughter's life!)