buying a cow (really!)

[AldenG]

Anyway, looks like the OP has disappeared. They always do

Shall we commission the #1 Ladies' Detective Agency to see if they can find him?

Anybody making inquiries about the delivery of a cow to Helsinki must be relatively conspicuous.

[Tiwaz]

Well, laws regarding the slaughter for personal use can be bit different, which might explain why things worked out like they did for Penelope.

But offering personally slaughtered lamb in for example bbq-party might again throw the legislation to different direction as it is no longer personal use...

And even if it was for personal use, there is chance that if slaughtering is not done properly it lands you with charges on animal cruelty. Which is why many forms of "special" meat is not produced in Finland.

Oh, and everyone who thinks you can hunt in Finland. Penny forgot to mention that you have to have valid hunting permit (which requires passing a test) and hunting rights in the area where you hunt.

Hunting rights are NOT included in Finnish concept of jokamiehenoikeus. Owner of land has hunting rights and can grant them forward.

I do not mention other limitations on hunting since if you were hunter who has necessary permit you would know them already. (how close to house you may shoot for example)

[Mook]

And even if it was for personal use, there is chance that if slaughtering is not done properly it lands you with charges on animal cruelty.

well, someone has to see you do it and report you. (same goes for those funcky religious ceremonies)

[Pursuivant]

http://www.uutiskynnys.fi/uutiset/kotim ... yytteisiin

No witnesses in the suburbs of Helsinki? + getting rid of the evidence...

[umqombothi]

Hello all,

No need for Madam Ramotswe to find me - I am still here! So for all you curious and slightly suspicious folk out there, I am aSouth African engaged to a Finn. There is a traditional South African custom called lobola - basically a dowry that the groom pays to the bride's father (traditionally paid in cattle). When I asked my fiancée's father permission to marry I agreed that I would pay 1 cow as lobola. He took it as a joke but I would like to follow through with it (somewhat tongue in cheek but I think the photo of his face when the cow arrives will be priceless).

My fiancée thinks the poor cow should be delivered in summer not at the beginning of winter - and she might have a point there. I think the father should take the cow to mökki to cut the grass as Penny suggests.

Anyway - no responses to my emails (to the university and the ayeshire breeding society). Will give them a ring soon.

[EP]

I think the father should take the cow to mökki to cut the grass as Penny suggests.

No, Penelope was talking about sheep. For example in Koli National Park they have sheep who keep the landscape clean, meaning not full of bushes. Cows have to be milked every day. I don´t thin your fiancee´s father is ready to do that. A fun idea (maybe), but leave it as such, and do it the Finnish way. Which means no dowry at all.

[EP]

How would the father-in-law take the cow to the mökki? And what would he do when he has to go back to town? He cannot just leave it there, and he cannot even slaughter it himself. I can see you have a sense of drama (in this case comedy) but just forget the idea and forget calling the university.

[umqombothi]

Well he has a hunting licence, so perhaps he could stick some antlers onto it and track it through the forest?

I made some great biltong (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biltong) from a moose he shot, so could do the same with the cow!

[Tiwaz]

If you really want to go through with it, get plushy toy cow, some sort of plate with cow or other cow stuff like that.
Much less problematic and while look on his face might not be as spectacular, it should still be worth a photo.


Inflatable cow might be closest to your desires while not endangering any living creatures.
WARNING! Following website is one I googled out and does have other products which may cause to more puritan readers seizures.

http://www.ihmeellinenhuone.fi/product_ ... cts_id=458

I would guess cheaper places might be available as well, just ask your wife-to-be to google for you "puhallettava lehmä".

[Rosamunda]

You could probably just borrow one for a day, and maybe not even a big one... just for the photo.
Try calling a farm near your mökki.

I asked my SO about the sheep and he said that we will need a permit and the EU papers in order to graze sheep at the mökki. Our mökki neighbour did it a few years ago but not recently. Goats might be different, I know there is a farm in Karis/Karjaa that loans goats. I might check that out in the spring when we have sorted our plans for next summer.

I don't think you can slaughter animals yourself. There is a fine line between slaughtering hunted animals and eating them and slaughtering a domesticated animal. Even hunters have to take samples for analysis from the animals they kill. I can't remember the names of the bacteria etc, but some animals can carry quite dangerous diseases.

Elk makes great biltong. I have made a few batches in the new drier and managed to get the saltiness down. The recipe I am using had Worcestershire sauce in the marinade but I now leave that out. I use ground juniper berries and cider vinegar and a few spices. What's your recipe?

An inflatable cow sounds like a great idea or maybe someone (or maybe 2) dressed up as a cow.

[AldenG]

I agree with the idea of borrowing a cow. I certainly admire your sense of humor. Maybe you could pay a farmer to pretend that he has sold the cow and MUST leave the cow in your father-in-law's yard, won't even CONSIDER going back home with the cow. Or if you're in Finland (wasn't clear to me), you could ride along and do all the talking. The more impossible the delivery location the better the joke.

I think perhaps the problem would be finding a farmer who shares your sense of humor. I do -- but I don't have a cow!

There is a small bit of precedent. This is a relatively ancient joke that began, I believe, in Sweden but has also migrated to at least one Finnish movie or TV show I've seen.

A Swedish farmer walks by his neighbor's house and sees his neighbor trying to get a cow to go up the front steps and into the house. The neighbor sees him and asks for help. The first guy says, OK I can help you but why are you putting a cow in the house? The guy with the cow says, "Every time I say something to my wife, she says back, 'Tell me something I don't already know.' So I'm going to put the cow in the bedroom. When she comes home, she's going to see the cow in the bedroom and say 'There's a cow in the bedroom!'. And then I'll say, 'Tell me something I don't already know."

["Nog vet jag det," in Swedish, "Kai mä sen tiedän," in Finnish, both being literally "I guess I know that," and having the general meaning of "Tell me something I don't already know" or a sarcastic "So what else is new?" in English.]

[Pursuivant]

There is a traditional South African custom called lobola - basically a dowry that the groom pays to the bride's father (traditionally paid in cattle). When I asked my fiancée's father permission to marry I agreed that I would pay 1 cow as lobola. He took it as a joke but I would like to follow through with it (somewhat tongue in cheek but I think the photo of his face when the cow arrives will be priceless).

That figures nkosi... OK so now I agree the idea *is* priceless (remember to have a camera ready)... but see now think talking some boer to deliver some uitlander a cow into the city.... voetsak! So yes, you'd best find some farmer near the mökki with say young calves (easier to transport a small distance) and indeed talk him into the joke, and "borrow" the cow.... then you could also get some Zimbabwe dollars and offer to pay "real money" instead...

Plan B would be from the link that was here http://www.lahjaksilehma.fi/ that you actually *do* buy a cow, but it is delivered to some poor family in Africa... Then you could give the certificate - you actually did buy a cow and the money went for a good cause.

[laa]

http://www.ihmeellinenhuone.fi/product_ ... cts_id=458

I would guess cheaper places might be available as well, just ask your wife-to-be to google for you "puhallettava lehmä".

I suspect the father-in-law wouth rather have something without a hole in the back to stick it into.

[Upphew]

http://www.ihmeellinenhuone.fi/product_ ... cts_id=458

I would guess cheaper places might be available as well, just ask your wife-to-be to google for you "puhallettava lehmä".

I suspect the father-in-law wouth rather have something without a hole in the back to stick it into.

Moomin?

[Tiwaz]

http://www.ihmeellinenhuone.fi/product_ ... cts_id=458

I would guess cheaper places might be available as well, just ask your wife-to-be to google for you "puhallettava lehmä".

I suspect the father-in-law wouth rather have something without a hole in the back to stick it into.

How do you know that?
Besides, existence of mentioned hole does not require use of it. Actual cows have holes too.

And since purpose is to give weird gift along lines of some African tradition, having holed and inflatable cow fits the bill of being weird and funny. And it is a cow so tradition is fulfilled as well.

Actual cow, of any age and loaned or not, should definitely be dumped as an idea. It is extremely bad idea to cause extra stress for the animal for !"#¤% and giggles.